November 01, 2014

Best of Vague But True

It's True, I'm not Making That Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Cougar Loves Jaguar
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SAN JOSE, California (KGO)- A San Jose homeowner captured a mountain lion in front of his home with a surveillance camera Tuesday morning. "People walk around here at night with their dogs, so I've been passing the word... keep an eye out, especially if you have little dogs," Tang Wong said. An average adult mountain lion weighs about 160 pounds, but a mountain lion expert said the one in the surveillance video is only about 70 or 80 pounds. It's probably less than 2 years old and trying to establish its territory. "Great," said Tang. "It's marking its territory on the roof of my Jag."
PAID ADVERTISEMENT
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VINYL CLASSICS is proud to announce the release of "Alan Hale's Roman Orgy." Alan Hale played the Skipper on the beloved sitcom classic "Gilligan's Island" and while the real Alan Hale never recorded a saucy adult party album an internet spoof artist recently created a cover for this never recorded album. The only thing this cover needed was vinyl to go in it so VINYL CLASSICS brought in singing impressionist Spike Janicki to write and record down and dirty tracks like "Mary Ann on Ginger" and "Makin' Lovie Howl!" Whether you're a Baby Boomer with a naughty sense of humor or want to shock your parents at Christmas don't miss your chance to get the soon to be classic "Alan Hale's Roman Orgy."
"I Don't Think You're From Wisconsin"
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MADISON, Wisconsin- The Department of Natural Resources said biologists have confirmed two cougar sightings in northern Wisconsin. The cougars presence was confirmed by trail cameras on private land and DNA analysis of scat (feces) found on the property. Owner Pat Mosey told DNR officials he knows the scat was from the cougar because his trail camera caught the big cat in the act. "I don't know if I'll be hunting there this season for a couple of reasons."
Giraffe Photo Bombs For Food
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HESPERTH, Arkansas- Biologists believe you can train animals through stimulus and response. At the Decatur County Zoo the stimulus is humans posing for a picture, the response for Daisy the African giraffe is to photo bomb the picture and the reward is a treat of watermelon chunks sold at a nearby refreshment stand. Superintendent Stacy Miklas claims "Daisy never posed for pictures until we moved that refreshment stand nearby. But now, if you're buying she's smiling... but you'd better get her the watermelon, otherwise she spits at you."
Bear Makes Best Ever Golf Round Unofficial
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HOT SPRINGS, British Columbia, Canada- What was going to be his best round of golf ever become unofficial when a bear cub took Jim Smulyan's ball and plopped it in a sand trap. "I had a chance to break 80 but once the cub took my make-able birdie putt and walked it into the trap I was screwed," said the frustrated hacker. According to the course pro, Terry Edwards, "The rules of golf allow you to return a ball after being moved by an 'outside agency' or bear but Jimmy didn't know that at the time and played it from the trap. Once you do that that's your score." Smulyan added "The cub was cute. But I wish I had a chance to make that putt."
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