April 26, 2015

Best of Vague But True

It's True, I'm not Making That Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Bear Has a Need for Speed
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LAKE TAHOE, California- Matt Goldman has lived on Lake Tahoe for 14 years and seen a lot of wildlife do a lot of interesting things. But when he started seeing a brown bear regularly get on his Sea-Doo and try to start it up and go for a ride, Goldman knew he'd seen it all. Or was drunk. "First time I saw this happen we had been partying and I thought it was like a dream or some, you know, weird drunk mind thing. But this bear sees us riding on the jet from the shore, he just watches us and once I dock it (the Sea-Doo) he comes over and jumps on. I swear he wants to go for a ride."
"OK, Both Those Putts Are Good, Let's Go to the Next Hole"
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ORLANDO, Florida- Golfers at a course in Florida were careful to putt around a large alligator during a women's tournament at the Myakka Pines Golf Club in Englewood. "If we stopped playing because of alligators, we'd never have golfers," course superintendent Micki Zada said. The alligator is far from the biggest to show up on the course, a 15-footer nicknamed "Big George," forced players to take an automatic two putt and move on for years. "In tournament play that are no gimme putts but if you can't bend the rules for this... well, we did it and I don't care what the USGA says about it," added Zada.
Superintendent Swears He Didn't Get The Connection
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BAY HILL, Florida- It's not surprising that squirrels love cashews or almonds or peanuts. And it's not surprising golfers don't like it when squirrels jump into their carts and make off with their snacks. What is surprising is to see a sign telling golfers to protect their exposed nuts from the squirrels in conjunction with a message suggesting they not relieve themselves outdoors. "Everyone thinks I was just making a joke but I swear I didn't mean it that way. I was just trying to save money by having two messages on one sign. Now everyone thinks I'm a comedian," said Michael Gigante, head grounds keeper at Bay Boca Country Club.
Tai Chi Instructor Strangles Rabid Raccoon
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RICHMOND, Virginia- Cas Overton, 75, can claim an accomplishment few can-she killed a rabid raccoon with her bare hands. Overton was bird watching at Lewis Ginter Botanical Gardens, where she volunteers, and suddenly felt her left leg punctured by the raccoon. Overton figured she could throw the raccoon off but feared it would chase and “shred” her. So Overton, who meditates and has taught Tai Chi for 40 years, pinned the raccoon to the ground and strangled it for five minutes. “What saved me was meditation, the mental acuity and focus to know I had to stay with it and do the deadly thing.” Overton added, "I am an animal lover and a Buddhist but it had to be done, and it sure helped to know some Tai Chi.”
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