July 23, 2014

Best of Vague But True

It's True, I'm not Making That Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

"They Used To Let Us Ride Them"
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PETERSBURG, Kentucky- The Creation Museum doesn't claim to have unearthed a dinosaur wearing a saddle but they do think dinosaurs were once so nice humans used to ride them. "Then man turned from God and the dinosaurs would no longer give them rides. That's not a coincidence. God put animals on Earth to serve man as long as man served God. Today we might have cats doing the laundry if we would all walk in the way of the Lord," said museum publicity director James J. Morin. The museum's exhibit of a dinosaur with a saddle is a recreation meant to show mankind what could be if we achieve unconditional love from the Creator.
PBS Airs Porpoise Porn Show
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LONDON, England- Animal researcher Margaret Howe Lovatt studied dolphins near the U.S. Virgin Islands in the '60s. She worked with a pubescent male named Peter and one thing led to another and for Lovatt to get Peter to focus on his training she had to help the aroused 300 pounder achieve a climax. "It seemed to be the right thing to do at the time. I didn't enjoy it, Peter did and because it allowed us to get back to work that's all that mattered," said the unashamed Lovatt.
"They Work Together"
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TETAGOUCHI, Botswana- Survival of the fittest usually means kill or be killed but it now may include help the other guy kill and not be killed. "We've seen it happening more and more, the pelicans act as a periscope for the crocs and guide them to prey and the crocs then leave the pelicans alone. They used to get eaten. Now they swim around like the own the place," said Suamico National Park superintendent Sag Nagola.
Deer Wants To Drive
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TACOMA, Washington- Drivers and deer often collide but truck drivers rarely see deer get up high enough to blast through their windshield right into their cabs. And when it happens it takes a real pro to maneuver to the shoulder and remove the dead deer carcass. Slim Dunlap told reporters "I didn't want Bambi in my lap but for the sake of everyone out there I had to hang in and bring her' down to a safe spot.
"Up Periscope"
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LACKAWASHISH, Kenya- If Darwin was right and species evolve then is it possible a giraffe could become a periscope for a zebra? That is exactly the question biologist Jake Scott is asking. "We know various species benefit from being around one another but have these two chosen to actively cooperate and use one another's physical attributes, knowingly, to protect themselves from predators? These zebras love bananas but until making friends with the giraffes they could never get fresh ones."
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