February 27, 2015

Best of Vague But True

It's True, I'm not Making That Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Sloth Smile Causes Nightmare
MONTGOMERY, Alabama- School children love the field trip to the zoo. Unless seeing a sloth smile at you with human appearing teeth gives you nightmares. "There was no way to predict this. It's never happened before, in all my years as a teacher, but one of our students is having nightmares where the sloth is her dentist. Now she won't go in to have her braces adjusted," said Kingfish Elementary teacher Debra White.
If you're tired of having to fire up a heater outside in the doorway of the office building or told you can't light up in your hotel room Tex Williams classic album of rebellion against the man SMOKE SMOKE SMOKE is just the ticket to flick your Bic. Vinyl Classics is proud to reissue this Country Honk Classic. Order yours today and inhale away as you do.
"It Was Like Watching The Blue Angels"
STOCKTON, California- Birders have a list of birds they have seen, birds they want to see and bird behaviors they hope to see. That list probably has never included seeing a great blue heron and bald eagle flying in formation together but that is just what Swede Petersen caught on film, recently. "Couldn't believe it. These two giant birds were doing tight turns, following one another precisely. I thought at first it was a fight but they just kept doing it without any conflict. It seemed like they just were having fun. It was like watching the Blue Angels perform."
"I Think This Means We'll Have Snow In June"
SUN PRAIRIE, Wisconsin- A mayor in Wisconsin was told by Jimmy the Groundhog that winter is not going away anytime soon. Did Jimmy use his words to communicate this message? No, Jimmy used his teeth. Mayor Jonathan Freund was told by his human handlers that Jimmy wanted to whisper his forecast into Freund's ear but when the handlers held him close enough Jimmy promptly bit down on the mayor's once pristine ear. "I think this means we will have snow in June," said Freund.
"There's Nothing They Can't Climb"
SCOPAZZA, Italy- There is a reason mountain goats and sheep survive and thrive in the mountains-they are excellent climbers. But defying gravity seems to be a new skill acquired by some sheep in Italy's northern provinces. "If your tongue is strong enough to hang onto a cliff, I guess there's nothing you can't climb," said Naturalist Benno Gassino. Historian Dario Pasqualino told Italia Newsette that the Nazis tried to train mountain goats to climb up to Allied positions during World War Two but the explosives laden animals didn't make it and fell down the cliffs onto the German positions, killing themselves and the soldiers. "But now," Pasqualino said, "With the lightness of plastic explosives and the way the sheep can use their tongue to climb it might work."
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