March 05, 2015

Best of Vague But True

It's True, I'm not Making That Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

"My Kids Won't Go To The Bus Stop"
image
LAKE TAHOE, California- "Mommy there's a lion at the bus stop," is what Marybeth Holland heard from her two kids one day. Thinking this was just another excuse for getting out of school or being late Holland thought she'd take the opportunity to teach her kids a lesson and marched back down to the bus stop with her youngsters. And there was a lion... on a leash. Animal trainer Mikael Mirica had his lion, Django, out for a walk. "When Caesars or the other casinos gets an animal show in for a run we see some strange stuff in the neighborhood," said Holland. The Sheriff was notified but the Cirque De Africa show ended their run and left town before charges could be filed.
Deer Attacks So Common It Gets a Sign
image
GRANTS PASS, Washington- Experienced hikers welcome a closeup view of wildlife and accept the risks involved. But when attacks by angry deer are predictable it's time for a sign warning those entering a trailhead to keep their head on a swivel. "It seems like deer don't want hikers to enter the trailhead because that's where the attacks keep happening," said DNR Ranger Rick Reynolds. As of yet, there have been no deer violence on human deaths but many stitches needed and bruises suffered by the nature loving humans.
Ape Apes Finger
image
SAN DIEGO, California- Tammy Fong and friends learned how quickly a chimp can understand the point of and how to give the middle finger salute at Wild Safari Animal Encounter. Fong was getting annoyed with her boyfriend, Pat, who was instructing Tammy on how to pose for a picture of her and Fred, a chimp. Fong had enough of the instructions and flipped off Pat and Fred must have been annoyed too because he flipped off Pat, as well. "Unless Fred has done this before, he knew right away what the finger meant and how to do it," said Fong. "We laughed for days. Thank god we have the picture. I think it's going to be my Christmas card."
Sloth Smile Causes Nightmare
image
MONTGOMERY, Alabama- School children love the field trip to the zoo. Unless seeing a sloth smile at you with human appearing teeth gives you nightmares. "There was no way to predict this. It's never happened before, in all my years as a teacher, but one of our students is having nightmares where the sloth is her dentist. Now she won't go in to have her braces adjusted," said Kingfish Elementary teacher Debra White.
PAID AVERTISEMENT
image
If you're tired of having to fire up a heater outside in the doorway of the office building or told you can't light up in your hotel room Tex Williams classic album of rebellion against the man SMOKE SMOKE SMOKE is just the ticket to flick your Bic. Vinyl Classics is proud to reissue this Country Honk Classic. Order yours today and inhale away as you do.
Go to page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65