XIANYANG CITY, Shaanxi Province, China- Granny Feng's tom cat has sprouted two hairy four inch long wings, reports the Huashang News. "At first, they were just two bumps, but after a month there were two wings," she said. Her explanation is that the cat sprouted the wings after being sexually harassed. "A month ago, many female cats in heat came to harass him, and then his angel wings started to grow," she said. However, experts say the phenomenon is more likely a gene mutation.

BOMBASSA, Kenya- A ride through the bush on elephants is a highlight of the African vacation but only if a highly aroused male doesn't decide to mount the female ahead of him and spill stunned vacationers into a fire ant nest. "Sometimes things get ugly if you don't place the elephants in the right order," admits resort owner Sue Waddelle.

MINNEAPOLIS, Minnesota- A high flying and determined flock of geese, just like those that brought down a US Airways plane in the Hudson River, forced an NWA 757 to quickly change course. Captain Randall J. Nehs told FAA officials "The damn things just seemed bent on going suicidal in my engines. I made a hard nose dive to avoid them and scared the hell out of everybody on board. One flight attendant ended up 32 rows back without taking a step."

FARGO, North Dakota- Mary Hooland, the owner of the Sunny Days Riding Education and Day Care Center says she thinks her horses have a plan to get out of trail riding. "They go right up to the kids and scare the snot out of 'em before we even get the little buggers saddled up. If they don't ride, I can't charge for it. I'm losing serious coin."

CLINTON, Maine- Police said a 500-pound moose fell 18 feet to its death when it jumped a guardrail on an Interstate 95 overpass. A motorist called town clerk Shirley Bailey and said "a moose just fell out of the sky." The driver was under the bridge when he spotted the falling moose, and was "pretty excited about it," Bailey reports, adding, "We also had calls claiming Sarah Palin was skeet shooting, the Royal Lipazzaner Moose Show was in town and that Rocky lost his Bullwinkle. We did check on Governor Palin's whereabouts. She was in Alaska at the time. The other calls we knew were jokes."

HALLOWED GROUND, The United States of America- At cemeteries all over America squirrels have taken American flags put out to honor the nation's war dead and used them to make nests in nearby trees. National Memorial Association Director Brian Puckette said, "I have heard from cemetery people all over the nation... on Memorial Day squirrels took flags everywhere, in every state. It's almost as if they had a plan."

POCCATELLO, Idaho- Ben and Barb Terrio frequently have bear for dinner but not as a main course, as a guest. "Grizzer just loves good company and good food," claims Ben Terrio. "He is just one of the neighbors to us and we are happy to have him join us any time." But some of the Terrio's human neighbors are not so sure. "This guy is a total flake. He has trained this bear to come trotting down the street whenever he smells food and I have kids on roller blades out there. This has got to stop," exclaimed an exasperated Cary Otis.

SPRINGFIELD, Virginia- Dr. Pendleton Kennewick has announced his organization's annual Couple of the Year Award will go to Bertha and Florian Klasinski. "This loving couple work so well together and trust each other in a way that few ever do and we want to acknowledge their success with this award," said Dr. Kennewick. "Plus, can you believe her sense of balance?"

PEORIA, Illinois—Firefighters rescued a man who was knocked from his Jet Ski by an Asian carp on Tuesday afternoon in the Illinois River. Tad Newell, 22, of Hanna City was riding his new Jet Ski when he ran into the large, leaping fish that knocked him from the Jet Ski. Newell had a cell phone with him and summoned help, telling police the carp had been dogging him all day and finally caught him right in the jaw.

BEAVER DAM, Wisconsin- The Hartley Beef farm has been sued by the local chapter of the National Organization of Women for allowing their cattle to mount in plain view. "We don't want young women driving by Hartley farm to think that to get a man to love you you have to let him push your head under a fence while engaged in the physical act," said Janie Milton, NOW chapter president. Robert Hartley said, "I have no idea what these people are talking about. I make beef. I need calves. Where they do it is their choice."