QUEEN'S END, Australia- It didn't take a master detective to tell Patty Buntine where her dog had gone. Her 3 year-old Maltese terrier was missing from the backyard in northern Australia and in Bindi's place? A 10-ft.-long olive python with a suspiciously Bindi-shaped bulge in its belly. The bloated serpent tipped the scales at 35 lbs. which is a full 14 lbs. (or one small dog) heavier than its normal weight. A snake expert said the python will return to the wild once it successfully digests the dog. "It can't move right now. This is the equivalent of a 220-lb. man eating a 132-lb. steak. Or, a vegetarian eating ten 13 pound potatoes."

FT. MEYERS, Florida- A feral cat jumped through a soccer mom's minivan window and caused her to crash through a wall, then into a swimming pool. Ben Finkelstein was sitting on his patio when Leda Alpert came crashing in. "Never saw anything like it. You should have seen those kids scramble out. Sadie (Mrs. Finkelstein) gave 'em towels and bagels and they settled down." The feral cat escaped, too. "We've got to get that thing now that my wall is down. I've got no protection."

NELSON, British Columbia- Jonathon Gullabel found a baby moose in distress in a creek during a hike. He got him out of the water and tried to send him on his way to find his mother. But the baby moose followed Jonathon home. The Gullabels fell in love with the new-born and decided to raise the moose themselves until a better situation is found. Some neighbors are not pleased, though. "Yes baby moose are cute but I hope they are prepared for when Mommy, gets the signal from baby, and comes calling," says Vernon Gordon. "And I hope Mommy gets the right house... theirs, not mine."

FURUVIK ZOO, Sweden- Santino, a chimp named after a character in the movie The Godfather, planned a hit on human visitors. A calm Santino spends the morning stockpiling stones prior to the zoo opening, then launching the stones later at zoo visitors while in an "agitated" state. This means Santino can anticipate moods and plan accordingly claims Dr. Matias Orvarth, who is studying the situation.

BATGUAPPA, South Africa- A South African bush pilot recently tried to fly critical medical supplies in to a remote village and transport a patient back to hospital but, lions kept him from re-entering his plane. The patient in need of transport died on the runway in 112 degree heat. "It was suicide to approach the plane and no matter what we did to scare the lions away they just sat there," said pilot, Carl Liebe.

SAN DIEGO, California- Animal behaviorists are coming to the conclusion relationships between human husbands and wives may mirror those of lions in the area of sex. According to Dr. Vicky Liviakis "The males are full of themselves when it's time to mate, but get yelled at around the house a lot by the females and pretty much do what the lioness says to do."

FLAT IRON, South Dakota- Bob Keller is very disappointed with his beagle, Mr. Weidle. "The damn traitor let one of theirs into our perimeter. Now, what? I tried to shoo the thing out but old Mr. Weidle nearly chewed by ankle off. I hunt the big ones and Mr. Weidle used to help me. Has he gone over to their side? Come next fall this could be an issue"

TUSCALOOSA, Alabama- Unsuspecting children got a pointy surprise when jumping on a trampoline this weekend. Debbie White and several friends were enjoying her backyard trampoline like any other Saturday but this time some pain accompanied every bounce. Neighbor, Alex Kranzusch, came running out to warn the girls there was a herd of male deer strategically positioned under the trampoline. "This could have been much more serious had someone landed full force on one of those points," said Debbie's dad.

Chagos Archipelago, BIAT- Giant Coconut Crabs are known for stealing tea pots and silverware from tents and cabins but now they are rampaging through hotels and ruining the tourist business in this part of the world. "One crab charged into the dining room and chased some newlyweds out into the pool," claimed manager Dimitri Kourlorius. "They can crack coconuts in their claws so to snap a shin bone is not a big deal."

NEW YORK, NY- Major League Baseball again issued its yearly request for players to wear protective "cups." An MLB spokesman said, "Too many players find them uncomfortable but what's really uncomfortable is finding out, too late, you needed one."