SIOUX FALLS, South Dakota- The bond between a man and his dog knows no bounds. But, when Jeremy Kramer passed out after a drinking game with friends nobody expected his Puppy, Jaeger, to give him mouth to mouth resuscitation. "I guessed we should have stepped in and helped out ourselves but Jaeger kept huffing away till Jeremy came to," said his room mate Billy Jaye, "so I guess we weren't needed."

TARBORO, North Carolina- A business owner is recovering from injuries she suffered when she encountered a herd of deer on a downtown sidewalk. Michelle Brewer was opening her jewelry store when one deer passed by, then so many deer appeared that she couldn't move. The last thing Brewer remembers is being eye-level with nothing but deer before she hit the sidewalk. Others told her that one deer kicked her several feet in the air before the rest trampled her.

INDIAN MOUND, Tennessee- A man who was attacked by a pet deer said, "It was doing everything to kill me." It was a neighbor's pet deer that charged Timmy Keatts, as he was inspecting bales of hay on his in-laws’ farm. "I would rather have been in the ring with Ali," Keatts said. "He hit me pretty hard, then pushed me into the pond and tried to drown me. He was wallowing me in the bottom of the pond, and I was looking for anything I could get my hands on, and I came across some rocks which saved my life." Keatts said while he was bashing the deer with the rocks he was also having a heart attack. "They said what brought the heart attack on was the stress from fighting the deer,which is why I kept these rocks. They been very lucky for me."

ONTARIO, Canada- Federal authorities are certain someone is operating an illegal drug lab producing human growth hormones and steroids but have not been able to find it in the thick forest west of Sault Ste. Marie. Now, they suspect a moose may have found the lab and ingested the body building chemicals. The bull is over eight feet at the shoulder and 12 feet at the rack. "Seemed to have an attitude, too," said Royal Canadian Mountie, Dabney Dunwhite, who witnessed the behemoth.

CAPE TOWN, South Africa- Experts say the shark attack that killed a tourist off the South Africa coast on Tuesday was a particularly rare occurrence, considering the relentless manner in which the animal apparently attacked the man. Witness described a gruesome scene from "Jaws." An innocent tourist, Thomas Lee Bauman, was targeted by a "dinosaur-sized" Great White shark who struck three times, leaving nothing but "a pool of blood in the water." One official said, "It didn't bite him and let him go, as Great Whites normally do. It came back and carried on eating." Bauman made over 1 billion dollars on Wall Street in 2003, alone.

SAN DIEGO, California- John Dingle and Brad Berry are ready to give back to the community. The animal lovers and pro football players announced they will join forces to build the Dingle Berry Dog and Cat Home for abandoned pets. "We see a lot of pets go to shelters and if nobody takes them in six weeks, that's where we step in. We give them a home for another six weeks."

WILMINGTON, Delaware- A mom in Delaware was attacked by a raccoon while leaving church Sunday morning. Witnesses said the raccoon appeared and charged the woman's child as they left Old Swedes Lutheran Church in Wilmington. The mom jumped in front of her child and was bitten in the leg. Parishioners say the animal may have been attracted to cat food that was left out for strays. Pastor Bryce Eichlersmith said, "It seems these beasts fear neither God, nor man."

NAIROBI, Kenya- A troop of monkeys has been making "lewd signs" at women trying to harvest crops south of Nairobi. Local constable Paul Muite said his constituents fear the monkeys could sexually harass them, and that, "These creatures clearly have no respect for women." Gichuki Kabukuru, a spokesman for Kenya Wildlife Service, said monkeys and baboons have a penchant for harassing women rather than men, and even gesturing at them and touching their own private parts. According to locals, the animals have become so aggressive that women have taken to dressing up like men, wearing trousers and long-sleeve shirts.

NEW YORK, New York- Harlem locals have something new to fear- wild coyotes. A young coyote was captured yesterday on 155th St. and Broadway. She's the third wild coyote to be caught in the city. Experts say the coyotes "probably walk down the Amtrak rail corridor along the Hudson River or swim down the Hudson River until they get to the city. It's normal behavior. We won't panic until the coyotes actually learn how to ride inside the Amtrak trains."

TERWILLIGER, Louisiana- Doris Duke has never forgiven herself for drinking alcohol throughout her pregnancy. "I just thought all those warnings at the doctor's office were plain hooey. I never would have drunk like that if I knew it was real." Today her teenage son, David Duke Jr. suffers from deficient social skills. So, when David came into the house, saying "There's a 'coon in my pants, there's a 'coon in my pants," his Mom didn't take him seriously. "He's going through puberty, so at first I figured it was some sort of crude joke. Then I thought the boy was just acting up. Then he had me look out the window. There was a 'coon in his pants."