BERLIN, Germany- Officials at a German zoo say that a male brown bear attacked and killed a female bear in front of horrified onlookers. Christopher Langner, director of the zoo, said they're still trying to determine why the male, named Balou, attacked the female, Klara. Zoo keepers note, other than being male and female, the only difference between the two bears behaviorally was that Klara seemed to like humans.

CERRO AZUL, Panama- At a waterfall near the town of Cerro Azul a group of teens were playing when a large hairless mystery creature shuffled out from a cave behind the waterfall. The creature approached the boys who began throwing rocks at the monster. When it stopped moving the boys threw it in the ocean and ran to tell authorities. Experts are not sure what the animal may be but some wondered aloud, if Earth has been visited by aliens, could they have brought their pets and did one run away and hide in a cave.

PINELLAS COUNTY, Florida- An intoxicated man was arrested in Florida after pretending to drown and then throw jellyfish at innocent teenagers who swam near to save him. Keith Marriott, 41, had been drinking on the beach for several hours, then went into the ocean, dunked himself, mimicking drowning according to the Pinellas County Sheriff's report. That's when the jellyfish started flying. The drunken man, who cops later found was hiding a pocketknife in his shorts, and had a pre-existing wound, began tossing the sea creatures at teenagers who were swimming nearby. Police officers said, "A drunk guy with an open wound and a concealed knife faked his own drowning and then flung live jellyfish at teenagers. Believe it or not, this happens all the time. But the jellyfish somehow didn't sting the guy who grabbed them. Maybe the jellyfish hate teens like everyone else."

MARY CAY, Grand Turks- If you think swimming through schools of tiny tropical fish is going to make for a great vacation photo you may want to consider what happened to Les Elias. "After three went in my nose I reflexively opened my mouth but then five more rushed in there, like they were waiting. I nearly choked to death." His wife Bonnie snapped a picture right before the attack.

BURLINGTON, Iowa- Van Denerson has seen lots of movies while traveling the rail lines of America working for Burlington Northern. "I usually bring DVDs but downloaded "The Taking of Pelham 1,2,3" and an old classic, "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid," for this last trip and just got done watching them and suddenly our train is attacked by a deer. I saw that deer wait for us to pass under the overpass trestle and then jump on top and then stomp around up there until we shut our engines down. Should have kept going. Damn thing just jumped off and ran away but it got us way off schedule."

ABBE CADEBRA, New Mexico- Ducky O' Toole was tired of thieves picking on his auto repair shop so he spread the rumor around the neighborhood that a rare breed of New Mexico Lion was guarding his business at night. Break-ins stopped completely. Finally a frightened neighbor called authorities to look into the situation. O' Toole isn't saying exactly where his dog, Carrot Top, has gone but city inspectors say they will not be looking any further into the situation. O' Toole said, "I'm not saying thieves tend to be idiots, but..."

TOKYO, Japan- A bear injured nine people at a highway rest stop in central Japan before being shot dead in a souvenir shop by a hunter. "We don't normally get hunters in here but we're so lucky he happened by, and with a gun," said shop owner Shinya Miyakoshi. Reports said the attack lasted about an hour and all of the victims were expected to survive. While in the souvenir shop the rampaging bear destroyed a display of stuffed bears sold to tourists who come to the area to see bears.

LONDON, England- The deaths of no fewer than four people after being trampled by cows in the past two months has prompted Britain's main farming union to issue a warning about the dangers of provoking the normally docile animals. The current spate of attacks by cows began when Liz Crowsley, a veterinary surgeon, was crushed against a wall and then trampled underfoot while out walking with her two dogs. The fourth fatal attack claimed the life of Harold Lee, a 75-year-old farmer from Burtle in the West Country. He was killed by his own herd. "England has always been nice to her cows and this is how they repay us," said Minister of the Interior, Ian Smithwell Baker. "Would they like it better if we treated them like they do in Spain?"

MARCO ISLAND, Florida- John Chiricotti was heading to the harbor to launch his boat when a sea gull swooped in and stole the bagel he was eating right out of his hand. "I had the bagel in my left hand, which was kind of half in and half out the window, and a gull swooped in, snatched it, and I was starving and now had nothing to eat so I got mad and spaced out and instead of backing the boat down the ramp into the water I just drove right in."

LOS ANGELES, California- Jennifer Cates was attending a fund raiser at the Los Angeles Zoo when the beauty queen got more than she bargained for from a randy Oranutang. And her husband, Kurt, didn't think it was an innocent mistake for the young juvenile known as Roscoe to goose, fondle and otherwise get uncomfortably close to Jennifer. "I swear that monkey knew he could get away with it because he was a 'cute ape' but he was just horny. If he was further up the evolutionary ladder he'd be in jail on assault charges. Roscoe knows nobody suspects him, so he kept after Jen'. He wanted to go homo sapien and got away with it."