DALLAS, Texas- Photos purporting that a squirrel was at famous events from history are surfacing on the internet but are not amusing to everyone. Therese Felton, Director of the Texas School Book Depository Assassination Tour and Museum, said "Oswald acted alone and to say a squirrel was involved is just plain stupid. You wouldn't believe the calls we get when stuff like this comes out. I had to convince 14 different people, today, that a squirrel could not have been part of a conspiracy to kill JFK. They hear this stuff on the radio and get crazy."

MINNEAPOLIS, Minnesota- A photo of a squirrel ruining a vacation photo has become a hit on the interent. But don't be fooled. While squirrels are evil they are not everywhere, says comedian Tim Bedore. "I have seen photos of squirrels being at the Hindenburg crash and with John Wilkes Booth but those images are the work of some sort of digital photo editing program. I can't convince the world of how squirrels want to bring down the Western world with phony evidence," said the conspiracy obsessed comedian.

BOSTON, Massachusetts- Police shot and killed a fox after it attacked Eddy Tellez, 39, who was bit by the animal on Tower Hill Road. Carmen Tellez said the fox jumped off a stonewall and bit onto Eddy Tellez's arm and would not let go. The Tellez family called 911, waited for 10 minutes with the fox hanging on the victim's arm and when police arrived the fox then turned on an officer. The animal was shot and killed and is being tested for rabies.

DENVER, Colorado- State Wildlife officials are beginning to see a pattern they don't like between humans and the Colorado bear population. Officials noticed on a website a listing of headlines of news stories involving bears from this summer which included, Bear Tears Up Motorcycle Looking For Pizza, Bear Breaks Into Home For Biscotti Cookies, Bear Browses Through Aspen Fur Shop, Bear Breaks Into Home-Terrorizes Family, Bear Burglar Keeps Coming Back, Bear Shot In Downtown Steamboat Springs, TV Anchor's Cookies Attract Bear, Boulder Man Watching TV Didn't Know Bear Was Inside House, Pepsi-Cola Craving Bear Breaks Into Beaver Creek Bar, Bouncing Bear Breaks Trampoline. Wildlife experts are not sure what's going on but as Professor Kendall Philbott of Denver State said, "With the pizza, cookies, Pepsi, TV and trampolines involved, it sure looks they want to be human."

MT.SHASTA, California- Camping out in the northern California woods has been a tradition in the Rossmeissel family for generations. Until this year. "I don't think we'll ever go back," said family patriarch, Joe Sr. "Our family has been coming here for years but this year was a nightmare. Bears chased our pack mules on the way up, they galloped off, cheetoes were flying, boxes of Bisquick went down, we lost half our food supplies, they attacked our tents in the middle of the night and nearly killed us and when we high tailed it back to base and got to our cars bears had broken in and stole my CD folder. I had everything Loggins and Messina ever made and it's all gone."

NEW YORK, New York- Metro Water Works officials are again asking residents to not flush their exotic pets into the city's sewer systems. "We end up losing a few sanitation workers to Post-Traumatic-Stress-Syndrome every year, after they open up a manhole and out comes a nine-foot alligator," said Harris Goldberg. "Crocs and 'gators may go down the toilet as little bitty things. But when our guys see 'em they are much bigger and really hacked off about having to live down there."

MOSCOW, Russia-In Moscow, stray dogs are commuting to and from downtown on underground trains in search of food. The clever canines board the Tube each morning and after a hard day scavenging on the streets,they hop back on the train and return to the suburbs where they spend the night. The phenomenon began after the Soviet Union collapsed and Russia's new capitalists moved industrial complexes from the city to the suburbs. Dr Andrei Poiarkov, of the Moscow Evolution Institute, said, "These factories were used by homeless dogs as shelters, so the dogs had to move when the factories left for the suburbs. Because the best scavenging for food is downtown, the dogs had to learn how to travel on the subway in the morning, then back home in the evening, just like people." Dr Poiarkov told how the dogs like to play during their daily commute. He said, "They jump on the train seconds before the doors shut, risking their tails getting jammed. They do it for fun. And sometimes they fall asleep and get off at the wrong stop." They also use cunning tactics to obtain tasty morsels of shawarma, a kebab-like snack popular in Moscow. They sneak up behind people eating shawarmas, then bark loudly to shock them into dropping their food. When on the prowl for shawarma, it seems they are conscientious users of traffic lights to cross the road safely, said Dr Poiarkov.

DANBURY TWP, Ohio- A Lake Erie freshwater drum, or sheepshead, smashed a woman's windshield when an eagle dropped the fish from about 40 feet in the air. Leighann Niles, 35, said she was earlier driving west on Interstate 480 when a small bird shot into her back passenger door, startling her 5-year-old daughter. I said "It's OK honey, it's just good it didn't hit the windshield. An hour later, we're coming into Marblehead and the next thing I knew, the fish shattered my windshield. I don't want to say I've been targeted by birds but it sure seems weird. And that fish had spooky teeth, too."

CHICAGO, Illinois- Bob Heymann never thought he would be burglarized by a raccoon on the 6th floor of a Gold Coast apartment building but that is just what police determine has been happening. "First it was a watch, a ring, loose change... then an I-pod. Finally I set up motion detectors and we caught the bastard trying to climb down the wall right in broad daylight. I am trying to cut down on using the AC this summer but now I have to lock the windows," said the amazed Heymann.

GRAND CAY, The Bahamas- Mary Ellen Moore and her family were vacationing in the Bahamas and after a few days of assuring their Iowa family that the ocean was safe the Moores had their kids loving the Carribbean waters. And then a barracuda jumped into Mary Ellen's bikini bottoms. "I don't think we'll ever get her in a bath tub or pool let alone the ocean. Poor thing doesn't want to leave Iowa, ever again," said her father, Bob.