Monster Fish Killed After Terroizing Swiss Lake
GENEVA, Switzerland– Police divers have ended the reign of terror of a huge fish that was attacking swimmers in a Swiss lake. The zander, was harpooned on Sunday after it bit six swimmers over the weekend, fish warden Fabio Croci told local media. Two swimmers were treated in hospital for bite wounds up to 10 centimetres (four inches) long after being attacked on Lac Majeur. The meat from the captured fish was served up to tourists at the lake. "It is quite unusual for zanders to bite humans," Croci said, adding he suspected the fish was suffering from a hormonal imbalance which could be responsible for its aggression.
They Are Jealous Of Our Lifestyle
HICKERVILLE, Arkansas- When a truck carrying 90 pigs overturned on interstate 40 it was only a matter of time before the 40 pigs that weren't captured would show up somewhere. It turns out one of them, a 900 pounder, had taken a liking to the pool at Bev and Bink Legeaux's house in Stillwell, while they were gone on vacation. Mr. LeGeaux said, "That porker broke into our house and slept on the couch, from the look of it. Seemed to like the swimming pool a lot, too. Acted just like my son when he is home from college."
"They Are Not Our Enemy"
BODEGA BAY, California- Marine enthusiast Steve Feldman has taken a liking to the local great white shark population. Feldman has astounded marine biologists by befriending, and even fishing, with several great whites. "They steer halibut toward my boat and bait, and all they want from me in return is love," said the social worker.
Toy Dog Society Names Their Man Of The Year
NEW YORK, New York- Dogs often resemble their owners which is why the breed category known as toy dogs are rarely seen with champion weight lifters. But Sammy Schward is the exception to that rule. "I love toy dogs so much. When I get home from the gym I just want a little ball of fluff to cuddle and nuzzle with," said the muscle bound champ.
They Are Jealous Of Our Lifestyle
SAN BERNADINO, California- A bear busted into a San Bernardino County home and was gobbling up a box of chocolates from a couple's refrigerator just when they arrived home. The bear pushed aside vegetables in the fridge to get the two-pound box of sweets. Officials said the bear also tried to open a bottle of champagne but was not successful. "Humans live inside because it's safer and nicer than living outside. Why wouldn't the animals who live outside get jealous and want what we have inside? They can get vegetables outside, but inside is where you find the chocolate and champagne," said UC-Riverside biologist Peter Murat.
Bear Loves Indoors
IRON MOUNTAIN, Michigan- A black bear just won't stay out of Sue Frumritter's house and it is hurting her love life. "I've done everything I can think of, but this bear just keeps breaking in, pushing open doors, windows... it just likes being in my house. I have to change my profile on e-harmony to include 'Lives with big hairy room-mate.'"
"It Just Wanted To Kill Me"
STINSON BEACH, California- Surfer Thom Platt has seen a great white close up and may never go in the ocean again. "I love surfing more than anything but I saw a look in that shark's eye that will keep me dry for the rest of my life. I could see the hate. That damn thing went for me but got my surfboard instead. I was lucky this time. I am not going to press my luck."
Breeder of Fighting Dogs Was Angry Young Man
MONTGOMERY, Alabama- Slap Dunlap is being sought by authorities for breeding fighting dogs. His father, Pastor Dunwoody Dunlap told authorities, "My son was always an angry young man who just had an edge. Once he got to a certain size we could never be comfortable around him."
Polar Bear Attacks Attack Sub
ARCTIC CIRCLE, International Waters- Polar bears have been showing unusual interest in surfacing U.S. attack subs, according to navy spokesperson, Lt. Mary Beth Holtz. "We don't often see polar bears hanging around but lately when we surface they have been studying the sub's exterior, almost trying to figure out how to get in. One bear even took a swipe at our periscope and then looked in giving the commander the stink eye."
Idiot Gets Grizzly Drunk
YELLOWSTONE VISTA, Wyoming- Haus Burton just loves bears. He even invites them into his hot tub for a cold brew. "They can't hold a bottle yet, but I'm working on that. Right now I have to feed them like a baby. And they love a full, hoppy beer. If I just have Coors they leave."