August 28, 2016

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Boozing Bovines Bust Up Beer Bash
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BOXFORD, Massachusetts- A group of partiers in Boxford were sent out to pasture when a bunch of bovines decided to drop by and have a couple of brews. “It started off with a call for loose cows on Foster Street,” Boxford police Lieutenant James Riter said. “On my way down Main Street, I did see evidence that cows were in the area.” That evidence, Riter said, was something you wouldn’t want to step in. Riter followed the trail and saw the bovine bunch standing in the frontyard of a home on Main Street, then bolt for the backyard, he said. “And that's when the screaming started. I could hear commotion back there and when I ran around I saw the cows chasing humans away from their beers and lapping it up with their tongues." The cows had a choice between Bud Light and Miller Lite. Riter said they seemed to prefer the Bud Light. “When they ran out one of them started to forage in the recycling to see if he could find any last drops in there,” Riter said. Kevin Spencer, whose daughter Lauren was hosting the gathering said he did not believe his daughter when she came in and said "Dad, there are cows in the backyard." Spencer just replied "Stop the party; you’ve all been drinking too much!” But once outside he saw his daughter was telling the truth. The cows owner was contacted and he told police “My cows probably heard the voices at the party and decided to join in. They’re very friendly.” He also said his son sometimes feeds the cows hops, an ingredient in beer. “They've never gone so far away before but seemed to enjoy themselves so much,” he said of the cows’ party time.
Came for Meat, Came Home with MEAT
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MOORHEAD, Minnesota- After becoming disoriented and wandering into the city of Moorhead, Minn., over the weekend, a herd of deer panicked and crashed into windows and doors at the local mall, police said. 911 was called when about six deer ran into the Moorhead Center Mall, with one dying after it crashed through a large window at the center. Another was accidentally run over by a minivan nearby. According to WDAY-TV, the driver took the dead deer home for dinner. Owner of the damaged minivan, Wally Florian said, "I came here to buy a couple pounds of ground chuck and came away with about 60 pounds of venison."
Knife Wielding Raptor Adds Steel to Talons
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EKTAPOODEM, Sweden- As if gigantic golden eagles aren't menacing enough, at least one is carrying a knife. A butterfingered wildlife photographer in Sweden had been cutting meat to lure the birds in when he dropped the blade in the snow. The eagle in the photo took advantage of the fumble. "At least, I was happy with the unique picture," Dutch photographer Han Bouwmeester told the U.K.'s Daily Mail. "The eagle is holding it exactly as we [do]. What a crazy, once-in-a-lifetime moment this was." But Rolf Stockhausen, naturalist at a nearby raptor center, said "Let's sure hope the eagle doesn't learn how to use that knife like we do, as in, killing stuff it wants to kill."
Such Compassion...
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TANGENKITTA, Namibia- But the cheetahs did not eat the gazelle. Instead, they seemed to want to make friends. One by one the cheetahs showed familial affection to this infant from another species.
If Humans Could Only Be This Understanding
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TANGENKITTA, Namibia- Sadly, on the way back after a long day in the savanna the photographers were treated to the now hungry cheetahs deciding Bambi was nice to have as a friend, but better to have as lunch. “I guess that’s nature’s way, this is how they eat, and we love the big cats... but why Bambi?"
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