June 25, 2016

Best of Vague But True

It's True, I'm not Making That Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

So Sweet...
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TANGENKITTA, Namibia- At first it seemed like a Disney moment for photo safari vacationers, Trevor Handel-Horn and Martin Dabner-Selmer. Three cheetahs approached a lost baby gazelle and it looked like any photos the vacationers shot would include blood.
A Lesson For All of Us
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TANGENKITTA, Namibia- Everyone on the tour bus thought it was the most life reaffirming, heart warming thing they had ever seen. The charmed vacationers even named the baby gazelle Bambi, and the cheetahs, Manny, Moe and Jack.
Until Lunch, Then “Oh, Gross”
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TANGENKITTA, Namibia- "It was just so tough to see those little legs chewed on like that. Really ruined the whole thing for me. Wish we’d never left London,” said a deflated Handel-Horn.
Chimps Raising Human Hating Tigers
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COLUMBUS, Ohio- The world famous Columbus Zoo has gone ahead with a controversial program allowing chimpanzees to nurse and raise tigers. But some zoologists and biologists have worried about the dangers of primates raising animals that can kill man with one swipe of its paw. "Listen, chimps are cute and everything but they can turn on you, just like that," said Archie Johnson, Phd., from the Ohio State University Veterinary School. "I've seen it, too many times. These tigers are getting sustenance from infancy from the chimps, so that is a powerful relationship. If the chimps decide a trainer is someone they don't like, who knows what they might tell the tiger to do." Johnson made his comments at a Zoo fund raising event and has been place on administrative leave.
Governor Sides With Birds, Fights Bears
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MONTPELIER, Vermont- Vermont governor Peter Shumlin had a close encounter with four bears in his backyard who were first attacking his bird feeders and then him. Shumlin noticed the bears going after his feeders and took action. “I open the window and yell at them but they blow me off so I figure I’ve got to get the birdfeeders out of there or they’re going to make this a habit." That's when the governor rushed out and grabbed two of his feeders, and as he was trying to escape “one of the bigger bears was interested in me.” Shumlin said the bear was probably six feet from him when he got through the back door and slammed it shut. While Shumlin captured much of the event on his iPhone, according to him much of it wasn’t suitable for media outlets. “I sleep like many Vermont boys, I’m not a big pajama person. The bottom line is-the bears were dressed better than I." Why not bring pants or a gun to an encounter with four bears? "I'm from Vermont," said the governor.
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