MALINDI, Kenya- A Kenyan man bit a python which wrapped him in its coils and dragged him up a tree during a fierce three-hour struggle, police have told the BBC. The victim told police he managed to reach his mobile phone from his pocket to raise the alarm when the python momentarily eased its grip after hauling him up a tree. To free himself Mr. Nyaumbe resorted to chomping down on the snakes tail, which caused the python to release him. "We are still seriously looking for the snake," said Supt. Katam. "We want to arrest the snake because any one of us could fall a victim."

MEDICINE BOW, Wyoming- When wildlife come into urban areas it is generally to search for food. But when two deer peer into the window of a drive-through liquor store it raises questions. Have they developed a taste for liquor? "They just stood there for the longest time," reports store owner Pat McGuire. "They stared at a Jaegermeister display for about 30 minutes."

GRAND HAVEN, Michigan (AP)- Mail carriers have long worried about biting dogs. Now in Grand Haven, they're facing attacking turkeys. In the past month, eight or nine turkeys has been disrupting mail delivery. Carrier Jeremy Bogerd says the tom turkeys are "super aggressive. They chase us around the neighborhood screaming like little girls. Sometimes they won't even let us out of the truck." Postmaster Barb Kiehborth tells the Grand Haven Tribune she doesn't even "know what to tell my people what to do, anymore."

JACKSONVILLE, Florida- Cyclists and joggers are used to being treated rudely by motorists but now they also have to worry about alligators. Deputy State Game Warden Barry "Bullhead" Thorton reports, "This new generation of 'gators will sit there with their eyes closed like they're sleepin', then strike at the next Lance Armstrong pedallin' by. If gators ever learn how to go full-camo join the gym cuz' exercising outside is over!"

JUNEAU, Alaska- Governor Sarah Palin is sending out the call for able bodied men and women to come to the aid of their state. "We have outdoor jobs we really need to fill and contrary to what the media says they are not all that dangerous. Sure, we've had more attacks than in the past but are you people chicken? Do we have to hire from the lower 48? Come on!"

BEIJING, China- Thousands of dolphins blocked Somali pirate ships from hijacking a Chinese merchant ship China International Radio reported. The Chinese merchant ships were set upon by pirates but suddenly thousands of dolphins leaped out of the water blocking the pirates path. The pirate ships stopped and turned away. "Perhaps these dolphins saved the merchant ships because they support capitalism," said Lillian Lum, spoke person for Kaitzu Shipping.

ST. JOSEPH, Michigan- A buffalo's 50-minute rampage took it through a residential area and a terrifying run through a kid-filled playground, Saturday. The buffalo's roam ended when police shot and killed it near the intersection of Hilltop and Cleveland roads, after it charged St. Joseph Police officer Paul Komdeur. "Are the deer and antelope next? Either way, we're ready," said police spokesman Barton Hatches.

GRASS VALLEY, California- Sky divers occasionally see birds but rarely are they harassed by a hawk until they leave the sky. Wilbur Rickenbacher said, "That red tail just wanted me out of his backyard. It ripped at my chute, dove at me, and screeched incessantly until my feet hit the ground. Then it just took off."

SHERMAN OAKS, California-Kurt Ramlo sat down to do his taxes but something at the window caught his eye. "A wild eyed squirrel was trying to break in and wouldn't stop for anything. I shot staples at it, blew compressed air from the computer duster can thing... its little squirrel cheeks were flapping in the wind, but it wouldn't get off the screen. I don't know what it wanted in here but it was highly motivated." A smack from a tennis shoe knocked the determined rodent off the screen.

CROSS PLAINS, Wisconsin- Monsignor James Brogan has received the approval of the Vatican to bless contraceptive efforts being made by locals to reduce the deer herd. "Snowmobilers are at risk, these deer eat up saplings and ruin people's yards... we have to bring down the size of the herd and the rhythm method is not going to get it done," said Brogan.