They Are Jealous Of Our Lifestyle
SAN BERNADINO, California- A bear busted into a San Bernardino County home and was gobbling up a box of chocolates from a couple's refrigerator just when they arrived home. The bear pushed aside vegetables in the fridge to get the two-pound box of sweets. Officials said the bear also tried to open a bottle of champagne but was not successful. "Humans live inside because it's safer and nicer than living outside. Why wouldn't the animals who live outside get jealous and want what we have inside? They can get vegetables outside, but inside is where you find the chocolate and champagne," said UC-Riverside biologist Peter Murat.
Winged Cats Plague China
SHINDONG, China- Another cat has sprouted wings in China according to government authorities. "The leader is very concerned that cats may be learning to fly," said communist party spokesman, Shiki Chen. "Why else would they sprout wings? They must want to travel. But if all cats can't have wings, no cats can have wings. That is our policy."
Gator in the Garage
JACKSON, Mississippi- Brandon Norwood had just taken out the trash at his grandparents home around 2:30 a.m. Wednesday when he noticed something peering at him from under his grandmother's car. "I saw a snout sticking up. I knew it was a reptile," Norwood, said. "I kept my distance. Momma didn't raise a fool. I got down on my hands and knees, and that's when I saw it was an alligator. Then I thought, maybe Momma' did raise a fool, cuz' I shouldn't be down on my hands and knees next to an alligator." Officer Darryl Stasher said they were able to extract the 8-foot alligator from underneath the car by poking it with a broom.
Dog Does Job... Reluctantly
BRANSON, Missouri- Jake the bloodhound is one of the best tracking dogs in the nation. And when he was called on to find an 83 year old who wandered off, naked, from a nursing home police thought Jake would jump into action as always. "But this time old Jake kind of reared back and said 'Thanks, but no thanks,' " according to his handler, Sgt. Cooter Finley. "You gotta' remember, their sense of smell is 1000 times better than ours and there was a mighty scent coming off what we had to work with. But after a bit, Jake shook it off and found our guy. Jake loves police work... most days." The senior who wandered off was returned safely to the assisted care facility and as a reward Jake was given a bowl of apple sauce by the staff.
The Worst Mom of the Year Award Goes To...
SPRINGFIELD, Missouri- The Council of American Families has named their Worst Mom of the Year Award Winner, and for the first time, they have a repeat champion. "This is something we hate to see but six years ago Amanda Schleister was seen dangling a two-year old into a storm sewer to get a tennis ball. Now this picture was sent to us and we just had to single her out again," according to spokesperson Conor Edwards.
Idiot Gets Grizzly Drunk
YELLOWSTONE VISTA, Wyoming- Haus Burton just loves bears. He even invites them into his hot tub for a cold brew. "They can't hold a bottle yet, but I'm working on that. Right now I have to feed them like a baby. And they love a full, hoppy beer. If I just have Coors they leave."
Deer Wants Fresh Chocolate Chip Cookies Now!
CINCINNATI, Ohio- A deer scampered into the Whole Foods store in Rookwood Commons and charged in, heading for the smell of baking chocolate chip cookies in the bakery section. "He was hanging out next to the oven waiting for the cookies to come out," said Scott Hartman, the store's manager, adding, "That's not a normal thing." The deer hung out in the bakery 25 minutes until the SPCA showed up. Once a tranquilizer took effect, police and the SPCA carried the animal out without a cookie. Hartman said this is the third time he's run a Whole Foods location that's hosted a deer. "Apparently deer like quality organic gourmet food."
Mommy, Are The Big Fish Mean Or Friendly?
KEY WEST, Florida- Summer vacation means fun in the sun and surf for most Americans but not for the Dave and Betsy Edwards family. "That was one long couple of days on that boat," said Kelly Edwards. "Until the rescue choppers came I thought we were never going to see Minnesota again." The Edwards rented yacht failed and drifted for days, surrounded by sharks.
Take This Job and...
SAN DIEGO, California- Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger took a stand against anti-illegal immigrant groups saying, "There are jobs that lots of people who live here legally won't do. Unless you protesters will take these jobs just shut up." The governor's remarks were made after a sweep of the San Diego Zoo found there were some illegal immigrants working there.
Indecent Elk Scares Home Schoolers
COEUR D' ALENE, Idaho- Betsy Ann Bowsen thought she could keep her kids free from thoughts of sex by taking them out of the public schools. Then an excitable elk took up residence in her yard and started poking around in its private parts, everyday around 5PM. "What are the odds of this? I had it with what my kids heard on the playground. Now I have to explain what this elk is doing."