Paducah, KENTUCKY- Local Fire Department officials are worried about a growing trend among college students to replace approved smoke detectors with 'Redneck Fire Alarms.' "This is one college prank that is not only not funny but very unsafe," said Deputy Chief Freda Payne. "If your house got hot enough to set off the popcorn it would be too late," remarked the frustrated safety official.

Boulder, COLORADO - Elks have taken over the Sandyquam neighborhood of North Boulder. Biologists are not able to tell residents when or even if they will ever get their lawns and jacuzzis back from their potentially permanent elk neighbors.

Gulf Shores-ALABAMA - Dean Meminger had fished these waters for over 12 years without incident. But for the last four years he has been stalked by the same alligator that seems to have it in for him. "I ran over this dude by accident once, and he has never forgotten it. I even swapped boats once just to see what would happen and he came after me in the new boat. I was three miles inland one night and this bastard snuck up on me at a party and nearly took my head off."

Queensland, SOUTH AFRICA - Joe Rossmeissel was determined to befriend one of the world's fiercest predators, the great white shark and succeeded. The 17 ft. female would, on command, roll over, beg and bob in the air while the animal loving local rubbed her on the nose. Until Thursday, when his "pet" shark jumped into his boat and bit him in half. Funeral services will be held at the Fisherman's Chapel, Port Lucie Harbor.

WYCKOFF, N.J. - A 15-pound cocker spaniel-poodle mix named Pawlee got into a ferocious battle with a mother bear and her two cubs and won. Pawlee suffered a few scratches but the mother bear lost an ear, part of a foot and her pancreas. When the bears wandered into Pawlee's backyard Sunday they had no idea this little 8 month old fur-ball was going to defend his turf with psychotic ferocity. Karen Edwards, Pawlee's owner, said she couldn't be more proud of her dog but after witnessing Pawlee in action her kids are a little afraid of letting him back in the house.

Sacramento, CALIFORNIA- Keller Petting Zoo has been forced to close due to horny kangaroos. Owner Bob Keller pleaded with city officials to wait until he could do the necessary surgeries on his male kangaroos but pressure from parents groups prevailed.

Buckholtz, WISCONSIN - Scott Taylor got mauled by a bear while turkey hunting last Saturday. But the real surprise came when the revenge driven bear showed up at the St. Stevens Hospital emergency room and came after him again. "I know it was the same bear because I took off some of his ear with some buck shot. Now I'm worried he is going to follow me home. I had the ambulance take the long way so the beast gets turned around and can't find the way here."

Ketchikan, ALASKA - A moose ruined the summer for 3 year old Michelle Weiss. A moose took up residence in her wading pool in early June and never left. Even if the moose did leave, the water was filled with hair and needed to be cleaned and re-filled. Once cleaned, the moose would charge back and scare off the screaming little girl just as she stepped into the pool, chasing her back into her home. For her 4th birthday Michelle has asked her parents for a gun.

HOLLYWOOD, CA - A spokesman for Fender Guitars of Corona, California is suing the makers of Just For Men over their current TV campaign. "We wouldn't be pissed off if they had used an actor who looks like he even knew how to hold a guitar. Guitars usually make people look cool. But this guy is such a dork he makes guitars look bad," explained company spokesman Mike Vaneslow. Fender is asking Just For Men to re-shoot the commercial with a less dorky actor or use a different brand guitar.

Kranszuch Key, FL-- A deer attacked a boat three miles off shore today in what has to be one of the most bizarre cases of human/animal interaction. Al Bachuber was fishing when he saw "A very determined deer coming at me in the middle of the damn ocean." The fatigued land animal got up onto Bachuber's rear swim deck and head butting the flummoxed fisherman before collapsing in exhaustion. "I know this sounds crazy but I think this deer is the same one that nearly got me to drive into a light pole the other night. Is it possible this thing is after me?" Local biologists are examining the deer.