Coyotes Surround Woman
HAVERHILL, Massachusetts- Mary Burke, 47, was walking her four Labrador retrievers when she saw a coyote staring her down. "There was one, then there were four, and they surrounded me," Burke said. "I started crying. I said, I'm not going to make it out of here." Burke called 911. The dispatcher was able to guide Burke out of the woods as the coyotes kept pursuing her all the way," Burke said. Groveland police cruisers arrived with sirens blaring, and the coyotes fled. "It was the most scary experience of my life, they were so close, I could've touched them with a pool cue." Police advise residents who walk in the woods to always carry a cellphone.
Little Dog Conquers Cougar
PHILOMATH, Ore- A big cat picked the wrong little dogs for a fight. Chiquita the Chihuahua and Rosie the border terrier chased off a cougar that strayed into this small town. The dogs' owner, Loren Wingert, said the cougar pinned down Rosie, who squealed, but Chiquita convinced the big cat to flee by barking ferociously. "We once had a meth lab next door and those dudes were not afraid of anyone. But Chiquita got through the fence one day and chased this tattooed tough case all around the yard and they packed up and moved out the next day."
Cat Grows Wings
XIANYANG CITY, Shaanxi Province, China- Granny Feng's tom cat has sprouted two hairy four inch long wings, reports the Huashang News. "At first, they were just two bumps, but after a month there were two wings," she said. Her explanation is that the cat sprouted the wings after being sexually harassed. "A month ago, many female cats in heat came to harass him, and then his angel wings started to grow," she said. However, experts say the phenomenon is more likely a gene mutation.
Vacation Ruined
BOMBASSA, Kenya- A ride through the bush on elephants is a highlight of the African vacation but only if a highly aroused male doesn't decide to mount the female ahead of him and spill stunned vacationers into a fire ant nest. "Sometimes things get ugly if you don't place the elephants in the right order," admits resort owner Sue Waddelle.
Attack Geese Force Evasive Action
MINNEAPOLIS, Minnesota- A high flying and determined flock of geese, just like those that brought down a US Airways plane in the Hudson River, forced an NWA 757 to quickly change course. Captain Randall J. Nehs told FAA officials "The damn things just seemed bent on going suicidal in my engines. I made a hard nose dive to avoid them and scared the hell out of everybody on board. One flight attendant ended up 32 rows back without taking a step."
They're Everywhere
BOSTON, Massachusetts- Truman, a 7-foot-long, 30-pound octopus at the New England Aquarium squeezed his body into a 14-inch square acrylic box today in pursuit of food, aquarium officials said. The caretakers for the octopi at the aquarium place food inside locked boxes as an enrichment activity. But zoo goer Marge Sage, who witnessed the exercise, had other ideas. "Do we really want to teach animals how to break and enter? We spend part of the summer on a boat and seeing this makes me very nervous."
Knock! Knock! Who's There?
BOCA RATON, Florida- It was no joke when Lisa Ludweigsen heard a knock-knock at her front door. "I was expecting someone and if it wasn't for the big window we have in the door I would have opened right up and then, who knows what," said the still shaking senior after emergency crews arrived. "That 'gator knocked and looked ready to come barging in if I even cracked the door. I could see that one big eye ball looking at the door jam and then up at me. He was coiled and ready to jump through if he had half a chance."
Squirrels Dis-honor American Heroes on Memorial Day
HALLOWED GROUND, The United States of America- At cemeteries all over America squirrels have taken American flags put out to honor the nation's war dead and used them to make nests in nearby trees. National Memorial Association Director Brian Puckette said, "I have heard from cemetery people all over the nation... on Memorial Day squirrels took flags everywhere, in every state. It's almost as if they had a plan."
Bear For Dinner
POCCATELLO, Idaho- Ben and Barb Terrio frequently have bear for dinner but not as a main course, as a guest. "Grizzer just loves good company and good food," claims Ben Terrio. "He is just one of the neighbors to us and we are happy to have him join us any time." But some of the Terrio's human neighbors are not so sure. "This guy is a total flake. He has trained this bear to come trotting down the street whenever he smells food and I have kids on roller blades out there. This has got to stop," exclaimed an exasperated Cary Otis.
Faith In The Family Organization Announces Winning Couple
SPRINGFIELD, Virginia- Dr. Pendleton Kennewick has announced his organization's annual Couple of the Year Award will go to Bertha and Florian Klasinski. "This loving couple work so well together and trust each other in a way that few ever do and we want to acknowledge their success with this award," said Dr. Kennewick. "Plus, can you believe her sense of balance?"