May 25, 2013

Best of Vague But True

It's True, I'm not Making That Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Coyotes Surround Woman
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HAVERHILL, Massachusetts- Mary Burke, 47, was walking her four Labrador retrievers when she saw a coyote staring her down. "There was one, then there were four, and they surrounded me," Burke said. "I started crying. I said, I'm not going to make it out of here." Burke called 911. The dispatcher was able to guide Burke out of the woods as the coyotes kept pursuing her all the way," Burke said. Groveland police cruisers arrived with sirens blaring, and the coyotes fled. "It was the most scary experience of my life, they were so close, I could've touched them with a pool cue." Police advise residents who walk in the woods to always carry a cellphone.
Little Dog Conquers Cougar
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PHILOMATH, Ore- A big cat picked the wrong little dogs for a fight. Chiquita the Chihuahua and Rosie the border terrier chased off a cougar that strayed into this small town. The dogs' owner, Loren Wingert, said the cougar pinned down Rosie, who squealed, but Chiquita convinced the big cat to flee by barking ferociously. "We once had a meth lab next door and those dudes were not afraid of anyone. But Chiquita got through the fence one day and chased this tattooed tough case all around the yard and they packed up and moved out the next day."
Cat Grows Wings
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XIANYANG CITY, Shaanxi Province, China- Granny Feng's tom cat has sprouted two hairy four inch long wings, reports the Huashang News. "At first, they were just two bumps, but after a month there were two wings," she said. Her explanation is that the cat sprouted the wings after being sexually harassed. "A month ago, many female cats in heat came to harass him, and then his angel wings started to grow," she said. However, experts say the phenomenon is more likely a gene mutation.
Vacation Ruined
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BOMBASSA, Kenya- A ride through the bush on elephants is a highlight of the African vacation but only if a highly aroused male doesn't decide to mount the female ahead of him and spill stunned vacationers into a fire ant nest. "Sometimes things get ugly if you don't place the elephants in the right order," admits resort owner Sue Waddelle.
Attack Geese Force Evasive Action
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MINNEAPOLIS, Minnesota- A high flying and determined flock of geese, just like those that brought down a US Airways plane in the Hudson River, forced an NWA 757 to quickly change course. Captain Randall J. Nehs told FAA officials "The damn things just seemed bent on going suicidal in my engines. I made a hard nose dive to avoid them and scared the hell out of everybody on board. One flight attendant ended up 32 rows back without taking a step."
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