Pampalona, SPAIN-- Well known photographic journalist Candace Bargrun is dead. Never an award winner, Bargrun was always in the middle of the action. The last photo she shot of the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona is her first ever nationally syndicated effort.

Laramie, WYOMING -- One of the best kept secrets of the last eight years is out--Vice President Dick Cheney's brother Chuck is a nun. Sister Mary Norbert of the Sisters of Perpetual Sorrow acknowledged today that she/he is still legally Chuck Cheney, the Vice President's younger brother. Cheney insists on being referred to as Sister Mary Norbert and won't comment on whether it is widely known in the convent that a man is living among them. The Vice-President had no comment.

Rossmoor, CA - The upscale community of Rossmoor, where homes average in the 5-6 million dollar range, are not going to hire out when it comes to fighting the mountain lions that have invaded the exclusive neighborhood. "I'm anti-gun but I am hell on wheels with loud noise," reports Felicity Ralston Packard. "I'll give them both barrels of ear splitting damnation," claims Packard, who lost her toy poodle, Mr. Annuity, to a local cougar.

Idaho Falls - ID - Irate leaders of several local churches have petitioned the DNR to cut down a tree they find offensive and say, "Turns a hike or camp out into an X-rated movie." Pastor Richard C. Johnson said, "You can't take your kids for a walk along Mosey's Creek with out running into a bunch of jiggly, sex crazed women posing with this tree. How do you explain why they are grabbing this thing to your kids? That they just really loves trees?"

Des Moines - Iowa - An obviously angry beaver tried to shut down downtown Des Moines yesterday. The cranky Castoridae stopped cars and attacked bikers before being corralled by police and removed, allowing human commerce to continue.

Fairbanks, ALASKA-- A local man, Detlef Shrimp, has a lot of explaining to do. Both the DNR and the SPCA want to question Schrimp over the nature of his relationship with a local polar bear, known as PB675 to the DNR, and Betsy to Shrimp. Witnesses have given accounts of very dubious interactions between Shrimp and PB675. In his defense, the local oil industry worker said, "If Betsy wants to spend the night or give me a kiss goodbye before I get in the CAT and go off to work the pipeline, where is the harm? Am I a bad person for loving another creature so completely?"

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Dozens of pigeons have attacked tourists this summer in Golden Gate Park by flying over humans and pooping in mid-swoop. Park officials have stopped short of saying these aerial droppings are purposeful and coordinated but admit there doesn't seem to be any other explanation.

St. Louis, MO - Catholic Supply of St, Louis has announced a new line of inspirational statuary for the athletic Christian. The theme is that Jesus Christ is not only our coach in life but also more specifically in how to hit a golf ball or make a hook shot.

Bath - IL - Heroic Americans took to the waterways of central Illinois to do battle with the foreign invaders known as Asian Big Head Carp. The non-indigenous, invasive species has ruined local fisheries and attacked fishermen and other recreational boaters. "Have you ever been hit by 40 pounds of evil slime," asked Jimmy Morin. "These @#^%&$* mean business and we need to take them out."

Livermore- CA - U.S. officials are worried several species of animals are actively trying to build up immunity to poisons used to control their activities. It is not known what their goal is but, one expert claimed, "If they wanted to take out humanity, this is how they would start, develop a resistance to our weapons."