October 23, 2016

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Piles of Doo Ruin Vacation
CORNWALL, England- Like a scene out of Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds," a massive flock of starlings are wreaking havoc on a campground in Cornwall. To the horror of vacationers the birds have covered the park in up to seven inches of droppings. "These heaps of doo are acidic and the sheer quantity is phenomenal. The roads are absolutely covered and the trees and cabins are lagged," managing director Mike Finnigan exclaimed. Every night the starlings descend on the park and drop such large quantities that the ground below looks like a gravel walkway. "Some first time visitors thought they were taking the path to the dining hall but stepped in about 4 inches of it. They packed up and left without dinner," said the worried Finnigan, who added, "The people staying in tents were the most argy-bargy over it. Can't say I blame them. They got trapped in there over night and we couldn't dig them out till about 10 the next day."
House Cat Saves Itself From Mountain Lion By...
DURANGO, Colorado- Delbert Toober loves his cat Snookies. And, while, it can be dangerous to let house cats outside to roam, Toober never thought that a mountain lion would be what threatened his beloved feline. "I let Snookies out around 10 and he never came back. Found him under what's let of my car in the morning. Weird thing is I didn't hear a thing. I mean...
They Put Differences Aside And Worked Together
DALBY, Australia- This part of the world has been hit by devastating floods and, now, to add insult to injury cold-blooded enemies are working together in frightening ways. Usually snakes eat frogs and vice versa but in tough times these two species are working together to take over the few areas that are left above water. "Dozens of snakes are ferrying frogs over to my barn. At first it was cute but now it's like a plague from the Bible, I've got frogs everywhere and they've eaten everything," said frustrated sheep farmer, Milton Calderra. "These snakes are like a skinny, evil trolley delivering pure hungry evil right to my barn."
Dog and Dolphin Are Best Friends
KEEF BAY, Turks and Caicos- Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richard's has employed guitar tech Pete Goodwine for decades to take care of the famed rocker's collection of instruments. And for the past 11 years Goodwine has brought his Golden Lab, Brown Sugar, with him to the islands for work. Brown Sugar, as a puppy, made friends with Macawber the dolphin and they have been playmates ever since. "Brownie will dash right to the beach as soon as we get out of the cab and bark and bark until Macawber shows up. Then they play and swim and carry on, it's such a joy to watch," said Goodwine. When asked why he thought these two species got along, Richards said, "Dolphins and dogs are the only two species that have ever been given their own TV shows, so all the Lassies and Flippers now get along."
Fox Turns Tables On Hunter
MOSCOW, Russia- A wounded fox shot its would be killer in Belarus by pulling the trigger on the hunter's gun while he tried to finish the animal off with the butt of his rifle. The unnamed hunter, who had approached the fox after wounding it from a distance, was in the hospital with a leg wound, while the fox made its escape. "The fox played dead for awhile and then pulled the trigger with its paw," a witness was quoted as saying. "I don't know what my grandpa was thinking. Why finish something off with the butt of your rifle when that something you're trying to finish off is wild, has teeth, is angry at you, and you have lots more bullets!?"
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