April 24, 2014

Best of Vague But True

It's True, I'm not Making That Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Rabid Animals On Rampage
BOSTON, Massachusetts- Police shot and killed a fox after it attacked Eddy Tellez, 39, who was bit by the animal on Tower Hill Road. Carmen Tellez said the fox jumped off a stonewall and bit onto Eddy Tellez's arm and would not let go. The Tellez family called 911, waited for 10 minutes with the fox hanging on the victim's arm and when police arrived the fox then turned on an officer. The animal was shot and killed and is being tested for rabies.
Bears Are On The Move
DENVER, Colorado- State Wildlife officials are beginning to see a pattern they don't like between humans and the Colorado bear population. Officials noticed on a website a listing of headlines of news stories involving bears from this summer which included, Bear Tears Up Motorcycle Looking For Pizza, Bear Breaks Into Home For Biscotti Cookies, Bear Browses Through Aspen Fur Shop, Bear Breaks Into Home-Terrorizes Family, Bear Burglar Keeps Coming Back, Bear Shot In Downtown Steamboat Springs, TV Anchor's Cookies Attract Bear, Boulder Man Watching TV Didn't Know Bear Was Inside House, Pepsi-Cola Craving Bear Breaks Into Beaver Creek Bar, Bouncing Bear Breaks Trampoline. Wildlife experts are not sure what's going on but as Professor Kendall Philbott of Denver State said, "With the pizza, cookies, Pepsi, TV and trampolines involved, it sure looks they want to be human."
Bears Ruin Vacation
MT.SHASTA, California- Camping out in the northern California woods has been a tradition in the Rossmeissel family for generations. Until this year. "I don't think we'll ever go back," said family patriarch, Joe Sr. "Our family has been coming here for years but this year was a nightmare. Bears chased our pack mules on the way up, they galloped off, cheetoes were flying, boxes of Bisquick went down, we lost half our food supplies, they attacked our tents in the middle of the night and nearly killed us and when we high tailed it back to base and got to our cars bears had broken in and stole my CD folder. I had everything Loggins and Messina ever made and it's all gone."
That Squirrel Ruined Our Vacation
BANFF, Canada- Mellisa Brandt and her husband had talked about hiking here for years. They saved up and finally got to take their dream trip. And then right as they were taking a picture to memorialize their vacation, a squirrel ruined the shot, stole their camera and dropped it in a puddle. According to Brandt, "The camera was ruined but I got the memory card out so at least we got the pictures. At first it was cute when the squirrel walked into the shot but then things got ugly. And it seemed so intentional."
Never Trust A Monkey On Your Gun
HARARI, Iraq- As American troops exit Iraq a strange thing is happening--monkeys are checking out U.S. weaponry. "All the time we have been here we have never had monkeys so curious about how we use our weapons," said Col. Bob Samlatte. "I hope the Iraqis guard what we leave here and guard it well. I would hate to see what an angry monkey could do with an M-16."
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