September 20, 2014

Best of Vague But True

It's True, I'm not Making That Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Deer Attack Football Playing Kids In Their Own Backyard
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WINTERSVILLE, Ohio- A couple of boys were involved in a friendly game of backyard football when the pigskin got away from them. It rolled down near a wooded area, and when one lad went to retrieve it, some grumpy, child-hating deer attacked him in a fit of rage. But the angry buck didn't realize how strong the bond of team is for humans. When a team mate is being pummeled it's time for his nine-year-old friend to pick up a stick and starts clubbing the crazed deer in the head until it takes off for the woods. An arriving police car's video camera caught the culprit as it escaped.
Deer Skewers Homeowner
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MOIRA, New York- For a few terrifying minutes, a Moira man became prey for a disgruntled buck. An attack by a 10-point buck Friday sent Gerald A. Dabiew, 56, to the emergency room, covered from head to toe with cuts and bruises. Mr. Dabiew, who doesn't even hunt, was attacked for several minutes by the buck behind his house. "It seemed like hours," Mr. Dabiew said. “I was loading wood behind the house, and the next thing I know this deer was coming at me," he said. "He got me down on the ground, and it was then I knew that he really wanted to kill me. I've got bruises from head to toe. He picked me up in the air and pounded me into the ground. I don't know why he came around. I'm not even a hunter." Mr. Dabiew said he certainly didn't consider deer to be dangerous animals — until Friday. "It changed my way of thinking," he said. "I took an awful pounding; I know that. If they start going after pacifists like me they really must be angry."
Live Deer Attacks Dead Deer Meat Processor
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BARTONVILLE, Illinois- A deer crashed into Echo Valley Meats' plate glass window and shattered it Thursday morning. According to owner, Dave Alwan, video surveillance showed the deer crashing into the window and taking off. Bartonville Police Chief Brian Fengel said he has seen deer encounters like this before. "It's rut season for deer," he said. "We've had a lot of deer accidents and it's just a coincidence Echo Valley Meats processes deer meat." But Dave Alwan is not so sure, saying, "Either we're so good, they're just dying to get in here, or some of these deer are seeking revenge for what we are doing to their relatives."
Deer Hates Human's Lawn Ornament
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VIROQUA, Wisconsin- A 640-pound concrete elk statue lies on its side in the backyard of Mark and Carol Brye's home in rural Viroqua. The dead deer that tried to destroy it lies about 20 feet away. Some say the love-struck buck ran out of luck when it tried to mate with the 640-pound concrete statue in the Brye's backyard. Some say this was not an awkward and fatal attempt at lovemaking but a fight during the breeding season, commonly called the rut. But all Brye knows is "I could tell the buck poked the statue a couple of times by the chipped paint on it, and eventually it rammed it like a mountain goat. That was a mistake." Brye, is considering removing the antlers from the unlucky buck and gluing them on the elk statue as a remembrance of the strange but true story. "But I can't tip it back up until I get a whole bunch of guys to help me," he said.
Fish Are Attacing Commercial Fishermen
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CHIBA, Japan- Pink, slimy and repellent, the Nomura's jellyfish is an authentic horror of the deep that's been assaulting Japan. Now the creatures have sunk a 10-ton fishing trawler. The boat was capsized as its three-man crew was trying to haul in a net containing dozens of huge Nomura's jellyfish. Four years after they last reared their slimy heads, and for reasons that remain mysterious, an armada of the gelatinous giants has gathered in the Yellow Sea off China and the Korean peninsula. The Telegraph reports that the boat's crew was thrown into the sea. Professor Shinichi Ue at Hiroshima University, told the Yomiuri newspaper, "A huge jellyfish typhoon will hit the country." When the Nomuras grow larger than a metre in diameter, half a dozen of them can destroy a fishing net. The fish caught alongside them are poisoned and covered in slime and rendered unsaleable. So serious was the situation that salmon boats in northern Japan stopped going out, and in some places fishermen lost 80 per cent of their income. Even staff at some of the nuclear power plants along the Japan Sea coast found that the jellyfish got sucked into the pumps which take in sea water to cool the reactors. No one is sure about the reasons for the slimy plague.
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