December 03, 2016

Time Bedore - Standing Up

Best of Vague But True Vol 2

The Animal Conspiracy CD

Jet-Bird Freaks Out Senior Citizen Center
MONTGOMERY, Alabama- Workers at a home for senior citizens had a lot of excited residents on their hands after they thought they saw the world's first hybrid bird jet. "We tried our darndest to convince the residents there was no such thing as a bird jet but some of them had to be sedated for awhile. They couldn't understand why we wouldn't call this in to the police," said Debbie Kranzusch, a worker at the home.
Some Species Just Get Along
APPALACA, Florida- Racism has always been a part of American human life but not so in the animal world. A black deer has been playing with the beige deer in Bob and Charlene Weber's yard all year and getting along nicely. "We could all learn something from these deer," said the local homeowner, who noted, "I don't think this is due to busing."
Piles of Doo Ruin Vacation
CORNWALL, England- Like a scene out of Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds," a massive flock of starlings are wreaking havoc on a campground in Cornwall. To the horror of vacationers the birds have covered the park in up to seven inches of droppings. "These heaps of doo are acidic and the sheer quantity is phenomenal. The roads are absolutely covered and the trees and cabins are lagged," managing director Mike Finnigan exclaimed. Every night the starlings descend on the park and drop such large quantities that the ground below looks like a gravel walkway. "Some first time visitors thought they were taking the path to the dining hall but stepped in about 4 inches of it. They packed up and left without dinner," said the worried Finnigan, who added, "The people staying in tents were the most argy-bargy over it. Can't say I blame them. They got trapped in there over night and we couldn't dig them out till about 10 the next day."
House Cat Saves Itself From Mountain Lion By...
DURANGO, Colorado- Delbert Toober loves his cat Snookies. And, while, it can be dangerous to let house cats outside to roam, Toober never thought that a mountain lion would be what threatened his beloved feline. "I let Snookies out around 10 and he never came back. Found him under what's let of my car in the morning. Weird thing is I didn't hear a thing. I mean...
They Put Differences Aside And Worked Together
DALBY, Australia- This part of the world has been hit by devastating floods and, now, to add insult to injury cold-blooded enemies are working together in frightening ways. Usually snakes eat frogs and vice versa but in tough times these two species are working together to take over the few areas that are left above water. "Dozens of snakes are ferrying frogs over to my barn. At first it was cute but now it's like a plague from the Bible, I've got frogs everywhere and they've eaten everything," said frustrated sheep farmer, Milton Calderra. "These snakes are like a skinny, evil trolley delivering pure hungry evil right to my barn."
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