They Want Our Booze
MEDICINE BOW, Wyoming- When wildlife come into urban areas it is generally to search for food. But when two deer peer into the window of a drive-through liquor store it raises questions. Have they developed a taste for liquor? "They just stood there for the longest time," reports store owner Pat McGuire. "They stared at a Jaegermeister display for about 30 minutes."
Turkeys Break Human Lines of Communication
GRAND HAVEN, Michigan (AP)- Mail carriers have long worried about biting dogs. Now in Grand Haven, they're facing attacking turkeys. In the past month, eight or nine turkeys has been disrupting mail delivery. Carrier Jeremy Bogerd says the tom turkeys are "super aggressive. They chase us around the neighborhood screaming like little girls. Sometimes they won't even let us out of the truck." Postmaster Barb Kiehborth tells the Grand Haven Tribune she doesn't even "know what to tell my people what to do, anymore."
Gators Welcome Joggers!
JACKSONVILLE, Florida- Cyclists and joggers are used to being treated rudely by motorists but now they also have to worry about alligators. Deputy State Game Warden Barry "Bullhead" Thorton reports, "This new generation of 'gators will sit there with their eyes closed like they're sleepin', then strike at the next Lance Armstrong pedallin' by. If gators ever learn how to go full-camo join the gym cuz' exercising outside is over!"
Alaska Still Can't Find Outdoor Help
JUNEAU, Alaska- Governor Sarah Palin is sending out the call for able bodied men and women to come to the aid of their state. "We have outdoor jobs we really need to fill and contrary to what the media says they are not all that dangerous. Sure, we've had more attacks than in the past but are you people chicken? Do we have to hire from the lower 48? Come on!"
Gravity Defying Dogs Fly After Rabbits
CAMBY, Oregon- Noah Abel is convinced his dogs will stop at nothing to hunt the varmints that are eating up his vineyard. "When the rabbits high tail it my dogs would go through a wall to get 'em. Thankfully there aren't walls here but you should see them jump the fences."