ARGOSY, Missouri- An age old question for young lovers has always been where can you get romantic without being caught by your parents. For two unfortunate teens the Mississippi and the boy's father's boat is no longer that place. DNR Warden Denise Bukolt, who happened by the distressed and undressed youngsters said "I figured they've suffered enough so we are not going to cite them. A bunch of hefty carp jumped in the boat and one nailed him right in the wrong spot. I heard a scream and that's when I decided to cruise by and investigate. It was quite a sight."

CLEVELAND, Ohio- A Cleveland man was attacked by a house cat and his injuries were so severe he had to be taken by air ambulance to Memorial Hermann Hospital in Houston, Texas. The man told game wardens Danny Diaz and Adam Broll his cat had never done anything like this before. Diaz and Broll said that makes sense, pointing out, it's silly to keep a cat that puts you in the hospital. The man agreed as they took the now caged cat away while simultaneously arguing with his insurance company over who is going to pay for the helicopter trip to Houston.

BUFFALO, New York- A male deer has been steadfastly standing watch over a female goose nesting in a cemetery for four straight days. The buck guards the nest as she sits on her eggs inside a large urn, near the remains of President Millard Fillmore and rock icon Rick James. "He's either guarding the goose or a Super Freak of a deer," said Erie County SPCA Wildlife Administrator Joel Thomas. Workers have attempted to move the nest but were aggressively chased off every time. "Why the deer has chosen to champion a goose is an open question but if the goslings have antlers we'll have a good idea," added Thomas.

LA CROSSE, Wisconsin- 911 got the call saying "Hey, there's a Croc in the Mississippi off Goose Island," followed by a scream and then the phone went dead. Police found a Croc but not the expected reptile variety. They also found a disposable cel phone in a trash barrel near the park entrance. Some detective work later and five UW-La Crosse students were paying a $500 fine to satisfy a Class 1 misdemeanor violation. "That's a lot of beer those five won't be buying so it's a win-win for the department," said Lt. Bob Gelson. As of yet, nobody has claimed the lost Croc.

MONTGOMERY, Alabama- Lefty Kransheech is convinced the squirrel that has taken over his bird feeder has also convinced its former residents to deposit voluminous droppings on his pickup truck. "I see that squirrel and the birds talking, then my windshield is crapped up. Coincidence? After watching it happen over and over, I doubt it."

BATH, Illinois- Barney and Charlene Dodge always celebrate Mother's Day by talking a boat ride on the Illinois River and having a picnic lunch prepared by Barney. "Ever since our kids left home Barney's always made sure we did something nice on Mother's Day but this time a 60 pounder landed smack dab in our pasta salad, then slapped me in the face with his tail. We wouldn't have eaten the salad anyway but my dentures went flying in the river so I was out of luck either way."

MORRO BAY, California- Milton Abelle has always felt tormented by the red wing black birds in his neighborhood. And now he is convinced they are working with red tail hawks to do some real damage. "When they dived bombed me in the past it was annoying. Now that they are steering the heavy artillery I think they are going for blood," said the frightened senior.

MARCO ISLAND, Florida- An eagle ray weighing over 300 pounds landed on top of a woman cruising the Florida Keys, throwing her to the boat's deck and pinning her underneath its massive wings. Jenny Hausch was on the chartered boat with her husband and three children, taking pictures of rays as they flew out of the water. Then suddenly one came right at Hausch, knocked her flat, wrapped her up in its wings and hugged her repeatedly. She said "That ray reminded me of a very awkward boy friend I had in college. Being under that ray felt just like being with Chuck except Chuck smelled better." Hausch was released from the hospital with only minor injuries, while her kids got pictures they said they can't wait to post on Facebook.

ZIAHUATANEJO, Mexico- Two Americans on a fishing vacation almost ended up sleeping with the fishes because of an angry bull. Ben Finkelstein said, "The last thing you'd figure to face loading gear onto a fishing boat is a bull. But I was taking some fishing nets out of the van and there it was coming straight at me. Guess what is not going to stop an angry bull going 20 miles per hour? A fishing net. We headed for the water and dove in. Before I got up to the surface I had this image of the bull diving in and coming after us, and then saw just its horns, like the shark fin in "Jaws," following me. I'll probably have dreams like that for the rest of my life." The bull had escaped from a bull fighting ring two kilometers away and headed right for the ocean, according to witnesses.

DURANGO, Colorado- Randi Burton was hoping to get a jump on the rummage season by being the first in her neighborhood to host a garage sale. "We have tons of stuff to get rid of, skis, golf clubs, skate boards, snow boards, tennis racks, because our kids are very uncoordinated. We don't want any more broken bones and hoped to get rid of it all this weekend but these damn elk moved in for the whole weekend and scared everyone off. One older couple parked in front of the house but an elk just tapped on their window with its antler so they took off."