Photoshopped Photo Hurts Mall Business
BLOOMINGTON, Minnesota- The Mall of America has had great success with their SEALIFE adventure center offering certified divers a chance to swim with the sharks in their aquarium. But when a photo on the internet, showing sharks swimming near escalators, went viral MOA suffered a 37% drop in business over the weekend. The photo is certainly not from the Mall of America which did not have a catastrophic aquarium failure allowing sharks to wander around the mall and was probably not real in the first place but posts on social media sites claiming to have seen sharks in the hallways at MOA went viral and may have kept a lot of people away.
Family Cat Protects Family From Bigger Cat
SIOUX FALLS, South Dakota- The Buck and Mary Beth Holtz family never thought twice about leaving the patio door open because they lived so far out in the country they couldn't imagine it would ever be a problem. That is, until a mountain lion wandered in one day while Mary and the kids were watching cartoons. "Damn thing just came in like it owned the place. We were all sitting there with our jaws open, paralyzed, but All-Star (their cat) jumped on its head and started growling. My youngest picked up my phone and took a picture, like we were at the zoo, but this was a mountain lion in our house." According to Holtz, the cougar looked at Spongebob Squarepants for a few seconds, then headed back outside with All-Star still growling menacingly on its head. When All-Star returned he was rewarded with an entire tin of tuna fish.
Tipsy Chipmunk Ruins Pool Party
HOPE, Arkansas- Although they are probably thought to be the cutest of the rodent family, at least one chipmunk is nothing but ugly for the Kyle Cooter family. "Every time we get in the pool that flippin' chippee comes out and goes after the drinks. Margaritas or gimlets, whatever is out on the table, it drinks, then staggers off, then everybody wants a new one 'cuz the little beast had its lips on it. Damn thing can put it away, too," said Carl Cooter.
Psycho 'Roo Goes Bizarro on Family
PORT MACQUARIE, Australia- A hostile kangaroo launched a savage assault on a mother after spending two days stalking her-then attacked her husband as she recovered in the hospital. Kirrily McWilliams was left with a 12-inch scar following the brutal attack by the powerful grey kangaroo as she walked down her driveway. It was the third time Mrs. McWilliams had been confronted by the intimidating animal in her yard after it hopped over her fence. Before the third attack McWilliams saw the crazed kangaroo racing towards her at high speed and with nowhere to hide she decided the best course of action was to drop to the ground and curl up into a ball. She sustained a large gash and other scratches on her back. But it wasn't over. While Mrs. McWilliams recovered in hospital the animal faced up to Mr. McWilliams, who fortunately was able to fend it off with a shovel. "I could build a taller fence but then we'd be living in a prison yard. It looks like I'll be getting a gun. I just hope the damn thing sits still long enough for me to get a good shot. If I have to shoot while it's hopping... well, I just hope the neighbors aren't home," said the frightened McWilliams.
Giant Pet Bat Suffers From Acid Reflux
ZANTACHHI, Philippines- Enrique Dominquez has bonded with a giant golden-crowned flying fox, one of the world's largest bats. The two spend much time together near his home, where the bat, Grande Jorge as Dominquez named him, hangs out. Why would a giant golden-crowned flying fox leave the safety of the jungle for an urban environment? "My idiot husband feeds the stupid thing all the time. And because he gets hand fed while hanging upside down, the stupid bat has developed acid reflux so we had to take it to a vet and pay for that. This is insanity," said Enrique's frustrated wife, Gloria. "My kids won't bring friends over anymore because they are afraid the other kids will see their dad talking to a giant bat."