"There's a Deer in my Closet"

EAGAN, Minnesota- Colleen Slattery screamed as deer crashed through her bedroom window, leapt over her bed and through the walk-in closet into the bathroom. "I was terrified," she said.
Moments earlier, a loud bang had startled her and her boyfriend awake. Beau Williams jumped from bed thinking a burglar was busting in but saw big beige animals crash through the window of their Eagan apartment. "Crap," he said. "It's deer." Slattery frantically called 911. "There's deer in my closet," she said. "And there's a goat in my pantry," said the dispatcher. "Do you know it's illegal to make calls like this to 911?" But Slattery wasn't the only resident facing a wildlife invasion. Eric Tantilla had called 911 seconds earlier. After numerous calls from residents saying that deer were attempting to invade their apartments the 911 operators sent police who couldn't believe what they found. Several deer had attempted to enter resident's apartments, with some having obvious success. On Monday, Williams and Slattery waited as a hazardous material removal crew cleaned up the bloody mess and workers replaced broken windows. "It looks like a murder scene," Slattery said.
"We haven't been able to sleep much," she said. "We jump with every noise."
Cocky Cock Kills Cock Fight Customer
DELANO, California- A California man attending a cockfight has died after being stabbed in the leg by a bird that had a knife attached to one of its limbs. 35-year-old Jose Luis Ochoa was declared dead after he suffered the injury. An autopsy concluded Ochoa died of an accidental "sharp force injury" to his right calf. "When deputies arrived, people started fleeing," Sgt. Martin King told KGET in Bakersfield. "One of the roosters jumped at the decedent, inflicting an injury and causing his death." A man who wished to remain anonymous said, "This is going to be bad for business. When cocks kill customers, it makes it that much harder to get butts in seats. I may have to start doing a two for one deal on tickets."
...Hiding Under Car
...the one time you want the car alarm to go off in the middle of the night, it didn't. I think the damn cougar bit right through something important and the alarm just didn't work. Poor, Snookies, probably thought I didn't care about him," said Toober.
Pet Boar Scares Neighbors
HARLIGEN, Texas- Growing up, it was always said there wasn't a critter Tim Messina couldn't tame. And his pet boar, Ralph, seems to prove Messina still has that gift. His neighbors, on the other hand, are not happy at all and want nothing to do with the "gift." Sidney Dorfman recently told reporters, "I know this is Texas and everything, but, when you walk out to get the morning newspaper and see Ralph... it's just plain scary. Should I have to carry a cannon of a firearm just to feel safe in my own neighborhood? I mean, aren't some zoning laws being violated here?" Messina says Ralph is a real "pussycat that just wants to lay in the clover and have me scratch his ears." Texas Wildlife Authorities are considering the matter.
End Of The World Is Coming, Say The Animals
PORTAGE COUNTY, Wisconsin- When it comes to mass animal death in 2011, birds do it, fish do it, and now even cows do it. For a number of Christian theologians, it suggests the End of Days is near. After the Portage County Sheriff's Department discovered "numerous dead cows" in a field, some are certain the Biblical prophecy of The Rapture is at hand. Some Christians, including online theologian Paul Begley, believe the death of cows, birds and fish follow the prophecy set out in the Book of Hosea, and the result when man turns his back on God. "Unless these animals are trying to fool Christians by committing mass suicide, falsely suggesting the End of Days in near, I think it could be happening." Asked why animals would try to deceive Christians in that way, Begley said, "Why not? Satan couldn't be working through them? It's just something I think could happen."
Piles of Doo Ruin Vacation
CORNWALL, England- Like a scene out of Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds," a massive flock of starlings are wreaking havoc on a campground in Cornwall. To the horror of vacationers the birds have covered the park in up to seven inches of droppings. "These heaps of doo are acidic and the sheer quantity is phenomenal. The roads are absolutely covered and the trees and cabins are lagged," managing director Mike Finnigan exclaimed. Every night the starlings descend on the park and drop such large quantities that the ground below looks like a gravel walkway. "Some first time visitors thought they were taking the path to the dining hall but stepped in about 4 inches of it. They packed up and left without dinner," said the worried Finnigan, who added, "The people staying in tents were the most argy-bargy over it. Can't say I blame them. They got trapped in there over night and we couldn't dig them out till about 10 the next day."
House Cat Saves Itself From Mountain Lion By...
DURANGO, Colorado- Delbert Toober loves his cat Snookies. And, while, it can be dangerous to let house cats outside to roam, Toober never thought that a mountain lion would be what threatened his beloved feline. "I let Snookies out around 10 and he never came back. Found him under what's let of my car in the morning. Weird thing is I didn't hear a thing. I mean...
They Put Differences Aside And Worked Together
DALBY, Australia- This part of the world has been hit by devastating floods and, now, to add insult to injury cold-blooded enemies are working together in frightening ways. Usually snakes eat frogs and vice versa but in tough times these two species are working together to take over the few areas that are left above water. "Dozens of snakes are ferrying frogs over to my barn. At first it was cute but now it's like a plague from the Bible, I've got frogs everywhere and they've eaten everything," said frustrated sheep farmer, Milton Calderra. "These snakes are like a skinny, evil trolley delivering pure hungry evil right to my barn."
Dog and Dolphin Are Best Friends
KEEF BAY, Turks and Caicos- Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richard's has employed guitar tech Pete Goodwine for decades to take care of the famed rocker's collection of instruments. And for the past 11 years Goodwine has brought his Golden Lab, Brown Sugar, with him to the islands for work. Brown Sugar, as a puppy, made friends with Macawber the dolphin and they have been playmates ever since. "Brownie will dash right to the beach as soon as we get out of the cab and bark and bark until Macawber shows up. Then they play and swim and carry on, it's such a joy to watch," said Goodwine. When asked why he thought these two species got along, Richards said, "Dolphins and dogs are the only two species that have ever been given their own TV shows, so all the Lassies and Flippers now get along."
Fox Turns Tables On Hunter
MOSCOW, Russia- A wounded fox shot its would be killer in Belarus by pulling the trigger on the hunter's gun while he tried to finish the animal off with the butt of his rifle. The unnamed hunter, who had approached the fox after wounding it from a distance, was in the hospital with a leg wound, while the fox made its escape. "The fox played dead for awhile and then pulled the trigger with its paw," a witness was quoted as saying. "I don't know what my grandpa was thinking. Why finish something off with the butt of your rifle when that something you're trying to finish off is wild, has teeth, is angry at you, and you have lots more bullets!?"