January 18, 2018
Guns and Munchkins
Maybe it's just me but when the Congress deals with gun legislation ducks seem more important than people. To protect the duck population in Wisconsin for example there are laws saying duck hunters can only use shotguns that load a maximum of three shells because the government knows duck hunters tend to get a little trigger happy at the sight of their hated enemy, the duck.

So why then can't we control the type of guns that people use to hunt people? Some of those fountain-of-lead/street-sweeper/hell weapons, that are now legal to buy, can hold dozens and dozens of shells. And it's much easier to sneak up on people than it is ducks. When you drive by a duck most of them jump up and fly away. But a lot of people don't even move when you drive by, so it's way too easy to hunt people.

We need more, not less restrictions on guns. How could a ten-day waiting period be a problem for legitimate gun purchasers, like hunters? No hunter gets all dressed up, tromps out into the woods, waits for a deer to walk by, raises his arms and then suddenly realizes... he doesn't own a gun. Even if that hunter rushed off to a store and could buy a gun right there on the spot, by the time he got back, the deer would be gone. Unless of course he's hunting right next to a Sport-mart.

Furthermore, legitimate gun owners don't need every type of gun ever made. For good reason, you've never been able to hunt squirrels with a bazooka. Obviously, if a rabid squirrel hater could launch rocket grenades at his despised, quick, tiny, moving grey terror targets it would be dangerous to the rest of the neighborhood and so it's against the law. Doesn't it also make sense to keep semi-automatic weapons out of the hands of high school drop-outs and disgruntled post office employees?

Well, not according to the National Rifle Association. Awhile back one of their guys said "If we allow the government to control what type of guns we can have they will then be able to tell us that you can't build a house with ten bedrooms, if that's what you want to do."

Hey goofball! The government can and does tell people what size house they can build. They're called zoning laws you lunatic. Ever hear of building codes?

And what kind of analogy is that anyway? Houses don't kill people. Unless you're the Wicked Witch of the East, then they do. When Dorothy and Toto and the house they flew in on, landed on the Wicked Witch of the East, it killed her, which totally hacked off the Wicked Witch of the West, who thankfully could not buy an automatic weapon due to the strict gun control laws in Munchkin Land.

Our government doesn't allow us to do all kinds of things and one of the most important things the government shouldn't allow anybody to do is kills lots of people at one time. We the people are at least as important as mallards.

And if our Congress won't restrict the guns that people use to hunt people they should at least institute a bag limit. I'm thinking two daddies per day. But no mommies or children under 80 pounds.