January 21, 2018
Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam
Have you noticed all e-mail is looking more like Spam because all Spam looks more like real email? When I go online I get optimistic, thinking people must like me, I have 128 e-mails. 126 are Spam. The other two are from my mother. The first one reminding me it's my Dad's birthday, the second one reminding me it's my Dad's birthday. She sent two because she forgot she sent the first one.

Anyway, every e-mail I get has a subject line that looks like they are personal e-mails from my friends. But they're all Spam, so even the e-mail with the subject line that says, Tim Bedore, I am still upset with you for giving me crabs in college at the University of Wisconsin at Stevens Point, you tall, thin, brown haired creep, I delete because I am sure that e-mail is just a come on to buy Omaha Steaks or frozen seafood.

Not only do I get my own Spam, I currently get Spam for a guy named Michael Johnson about refinancing his home, now!, and for a woman named Annette who can look great in a bikini now! The strangest Spam message I consistently get is from someone trying to sell me a product that would clean out my septic tank, now! I don't have a septic tank. I live in an apartment. I don't even pay for water. How did they find me? I get spam from companies saying they will reduce how much spam I get. You're spam. Want to impress me? Stop yourself.

Because of all this spam it's hard to know if your e-mails are even standing out from the Spam enough to get through to people anymore. So, here's a subject line you can use to get through to your business associates "I know someone at the IRS and they are asking questions."

But if you're tired of e-mails and Spam and offers for Vicodin without a prescription and a chance to enlarge your you-know-what and getting infected with big worm viruses then dump your online service but just before you do spam all your friends and remind them what your phone number is. I guarantee you, you won't be missing much on the off chance I may have a septic tank one day I priced the septic cleaner stuff they offered on line and it's just as cheap at Home Depot.