January 18, 2018
Recall the Recall
Douglas Adams once wrote "There is a theory which states that if anybody ever discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."

Which brings me to California's recall election. What form of democracy do you have when a Governor can be kicked out of office for only getting 49.9% of the votes in a recall election, only to be replaced by a movie star or porn star or porn king, or worse yet, water melon smashing comedian who only gets 18.9% of the vote? It's true that this recall election qualifies as a form of democracy but God is love, love is blind, Stevie Wonder is blind, therefore Stevie Wonder is God qualifies as a form of logic. It's just that neither of them are very useful. Unless you're somebody who can only get 18.9% of the vote or Stevie Wonder.

First let me say we Californians are not trying to entertain the rest of you with this recall election. In fact, you non-Californians may be asking why so many Californians are so upset with Grey Davis. Well, it's because Katherine Hepburn died recently. (Pause) Just checking, OK, the real reason Californians are upset with Grey Davis is that the stock market went in the tank and shoved us all off easy street. That's the real reason. Compounding matters for Grey Davis is that he's got the charm of day old spit. He's a walking, talking San Jose " there's no there there. He has all the flair of a pair of khaki pants topped off by a pair of khaki pants.

But supporters of the recall say they are upset with Grey Davis because he is responsible for our economy and deficit. Really? The Silicon valley/dot-com implosion and the resulting loss of revenue, the nation's economy taking the pipe, the energy scam played on California Grey Davis's did that? Did he convince everybody there was no way to make money on the internet or you don't need a new PDA?

My fellow citizens, this isn't a carnival, or High School where you can vote for the most popular kid because student government has no function or purpose. It's in fact very, very important for us to deal with reality.

Do you remember what Plato said about government? Do you remember Plato? He was old and Greek and they made statues of him and one of the things he said was "Whose that young boy over in the corner?" But more to the point he said "The greatest price of refusing to participate in politics is being governed by your inferiors."

Participating means thinking for yourself, thinking clearly about what really happened and who is qualified to fix things. I'm not allowed to comment directly on politics but with Gary Coleman in the race Arnold Schwarzenegger is not even the best actor on the ballot. And before I close I would like to apologize to Stevie Wonder if he really is God. My bad on that. The evidence was right there and I missed it.