January 19, 2018
What the Kids Want For Christmas
"I want dis' and I want dis'"

The tech sector is going to be O.K. if all kids are like my daughter. She's not yet three years old, and for Christmas she wants a computer. Actually, she wants a "peter" which is how she pronounces computer.

So, we go to the stores to look for a toy computer and discover buying toys for a three year old is an unholy nightmare. First of all, kids have the attention span of a gnat. A three year old doesn't know what toy they really like beyond right now and the next ten seconds.

And then there is the issue of educational versus fun toys. If you give your kids Play Station instead of the Elmo and Big Bird-translates-English-to-Spanish game, at age three, your child is already losing ground to their peers in the world economy, circa 2026.

My daughter has such high, three year old expectations of how great Christmas is going to be and my nightmare is, she opens her toy computer and it's not exactly what she wants, so she grabs it by the mouse, twirls the whole thing over her head, flings it into my Mom's Hummel Nativity set, crushes the ceramic baby Jesus and my very Catholic Mom spends the rest of the night clutching her rosary, praying for her figurine crushing granddaughter.

This could all happen because what my daughter really wants is a real PC like Dad's but an innocent child should not deal with Windows. It would be better to get a five dollar keyboard and a one dollar mouse, duct-tape them to a busted toaster oven and tell her to compute away. Fantasy play is supposed to be very important at this age.( And it would get her ready for actually using Windows.)

Anyway, E-toys should be happy to hear this-- I tried looking at toy catalogs with my daughter, hoping she'd really go nuts and fixate on one thing. Instead she pointed at every single toy in the catalog and said "I want 'dis, and I want 'dis, and I want 'dis..."