January 19, 2018
Stealing Cable TV
Is it ever morally acceptable to steal cable? Certainly, it is in college. Because, in college you should be studying, not spending money on television. And besides, stealing cable is the kind of llegal hijinx that's part of a well-rounded college experience. Once, my room-mates and I tried to sell the college library. We relocated "for sale" signs from the houses realtors were trying to sell and put them all around our university library. We had a few walk-throughs but couldn't move the property.

Anyway, I was discussing cable theft with friends because one of them is currently pirating basic as well as the premium channels. A few people in the group thought it was always immoral. A few others thought anytime you can get money back from a big corporation you should. One couple, who believes in open marriage, thought T.V. itself was immoral and nobody should own one.

But the question was - if for seven years, the cable absconder in question paid for basic cable and CBS never came in clearly did they have the right to get some of their money back by stealing cable for awhile? The immoral group said, "If you are unhappy with the quality of a product don't buy it." The pro-cable thieves group countered by saying "T.V. is life itself. The cable barons were sucking the air out of your lungs. Now you're just evening the score." Everybody, including the open marriage couple, had a good point... about stealing cable.

Personally, I think historically the cable industry has behaved like a big, nasty old dog that bites children and needs to be put to sleep. But this I am sure of - now that I have a daughter and I'm supposed to be setting a good moral example, I think every merger that creates competition for the cable industry is good because competition means it's less likely Letterman will come in fuzzy. And every merger that makes for a monopoly in a T.V. delivery system is bad. Because that's why CBS came in fuzzy in the first place. As for open marriage, I think a half way open marriage that allowed for the inclusion of another woman..., well, you can see the hitch in that plan.

And for you college kids, I am not saying cable theft is moral or good. I'm just saying at your 20 year class reunion you don't spend much time talking about calculus or how often you currently use those required geography credits. It's the social stuff you reminisce about. Like the time we staggered into the police station and confessed to the Lindbergh baby kidnapping. Not immoral or illegal and in only slightly bad taste. A perfect college activity.