January 18, 2018
A six foot Burrito Supreme
Some people are saying last year was the greatest season baseball ever had because the glory and the splendor and the timelessness of the game was back. And this year the team owners want to capitalize on that momentum and re-connection with the history of the game by putting advertising on the player's uniforms.

Which is understandable because the Los Angeles Dodgers are paying one guy 11 million dollars a year. So, of course to offset that salary the owners are looking for new revenue sources. But how much could they charge for a little golden arches logo on the sleeve of a big league player. I say go all the way and make the team the Los Angeles Quarter Pounders with Cheese. How much money do they make off the name Dodgers? A big fat nothing. There is no licensing fee paid by Dodger Inc. for having that big Dodgers name across the front of that uniform.

On the other hand, if the Giants became known as the San Francisco Treats, Rice-a-Roni might pay a lot of money for that prime spot on a players chest.

Who wouldn't want to go see the Detroit Chrysler-Daimler Le Barons play the Old Milwaukee Malt Liqours.

Furthermore, I think when a Milwaukee player is not hitting well or has made a few errors in the field he should have to wear a giant beer can between innings. And guess what, you'd see a little more focus out of that player the next time he's up at the plate.

There are those who are critical of the owners for having gotten themselves into a situation where they're paying players 11 million dollars a year and then have to put advertising logos on their jerseys to make up for pay for it but I say if you're in business to make money make the whole uniform look like a big bag of french fries.

And if the owners go went through with this uniform as advertising strategy and presented a player making 11 million dollars a year with a uniform that looked like a six foot Burrito Supreme, I'll bet that player would say "If I play for six million a year can I just wear white?"

What's my point? I'm not sure. But I know this. Baseball for me was one of the last great pure things in American life. You goofball owners need to straighten your act out because if you can't revenue share and control salaries and need to put logos on the uniforms... you've messed up big time. And if you're only in it for the money then please go all the way. Sell the whole uniform to Bill Gates and be the Seattle Tech nerds, NT 98, illegal operation shut down whatevers.