September 21, 2014
Vague But True
Tim Bedore

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system without written permission from the author, except for inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

Copyright (c)1996 by Tim Bedore First Printing 1997 Printed in the United States of America

Dedication- To Karen and Claire, with Love

Table of Contents
Chapter 1 -----WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO READ IS TRUE
Chapter 2 -----SOME OF YOU ARE CRAZY
  • Driving with Coffee Between Your Legs Is Your Fault
  • What's with All These Religious Kooks
  • Is it L.A., or Are People Weird Everywhere
  • The Muslims Are the Wackiest
  • Swearing on Airplanes and Your Legal Rights
  • Syringes in Pepsi Cans and David Kavatek
  • Can I Do That Over
  • I Didn't Know it Would Be That Tough
  • The Barbie Doll and the Feminist
  • Some Thoughts on Circumcision
Chapter 3 -----POLITICS
CHAPTER 4 -----ANIMALS
CHAPTER 5 -----SURE, IT'S TRUE
  • The Pregnant Cheerleaders of Hempstead, Texas
  • Kidney Thieves
  • My Sister Used to Talk to a Booger but Now She's O.K.
  • The Liars That Filled out the Sex Survey
  • A Murderer Leaves a Message on the Wrong Phone Machine
  • Strep Butt
  • What More Proof Do We Need
  • Dad Is a Vegetable
CHAPTER 6 -----THE MEDIA
  • Stevie Wonder Is God
  • Keep Toenail Fungus off My T.V
  • How the New Ratings System Will Make T.V. Dirtier
  • Booby Tuesday
  • We must Stop These Radio Talk Show Goof-Balls
  • Just When You Thought it Couldn't Get Any Stranger
  • Michael Jackson Is a Freak
  • Four Weddings, a Funeral and a Fifty Dollar Hooker
CHAPTER 7 -----AIN'T WE PRETTY
  • I'll Never Paint My Head
  • Penile Implants - Bigger May Not Be Better
  • Rick's Mid-Life Crisis
  • Being Cool Is Dangerous
  • My Hair and the L.A. Experience
CHAPTER 8 -----SPORTS
  • Golf Courses and Cemeteries
  • The Braves and the Indians
  • If I Get That Old Just Shoot Me in the Head
  • Senior Citizens and Foul Balls
  • They Want to Ruin Baseball Again